She's lost control again - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 103

Spicy

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 98

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 113

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 20:01

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 216

Good kid

Sorry…

Triage

28/10/2009 18:40

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 207

You deserved it 89 524

26/08/2011 18:29

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 3 694

27/03/2014 22:34

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 884

You deserved it 5 833

12/10/2010 06:24

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 608

You deserved it 30 486

01/01/2016 14:28

Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 971

You deserved it 1 972

26/06/2018 15:00

Today, I went to my son's final band performance. I also have a busy toddler, so I ended up watching most of the performance in the hallway on a tv monitor. In the middle of the awards ceremony, my toddler pulled the fire alarm. Everyone had to evacuate the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 282

You deserved it 2 254

30/11/2012 03:35

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 3 485

24/08/2015 19:18

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 374

You deserved it 2 486

13/05/2014 21:02

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 371

You deserved it 9 181

03/11/2016 06:10

Today, my mother finally finalized her divorce! Unfortunately, she'll have to sell the house, and when she does, she'll move in with me. I only moved out a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 660

You deserved it 908

24/09/2010 20:21

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 14 811

28/05/2013 16:37

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 520

You deserved it 15 961

01/05/2013 06:40

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 7 461

10/08/2011 14:44

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 3 945

Warm up guy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2020 08:08

Today, it seems that my four previous girlfriends all left me because they found better, more attractive, more wealthy, more interesting men. My entire love life feels like I’m the warm up act for the main event of other dudes getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 218

12/08/2018 03:30

Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 075

You deserved it 296

24/08/2009 11:33

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 569

You deserved it 8 909

Fashion influencer

By children ain't pawns - 21/11/2016 15:23

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returned him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 866

You deserved it 982

01/06/2010 16:19

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 932

You deserved it 5 650

18/09/2012 11:22

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 254

You deserved it 2 412

22/05/2015 01:55

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 808

You deserved it 2 270

02/09/2017 01:30

Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 929

You deserved it 367

15/02/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 955

You deserved it 418

09/12/2008 07:01

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 721

You deserved it 7 275

17/12/2012 18:48

Spicy

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 4 994

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 2 624

12/05/2012 22:09

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 477

You deserved it 24 636

11/06/2009 13:24

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 55 894

Scammed

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 17:01

Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now and the guy is ghosting us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 904

05/09/2015 04:26

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 611

You deserved it 1 978

11/04/2013 00:45

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 12 662

04/02/2012 16:39

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 948

You deserved it 3 157

31/08/2010 12:11

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 412

You deserved it 6 728

08/09/2013 19:31

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 888

You deserved it 110 969

08/07/2012 15:17

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 470

You deserved it 1 799

25/01/2011 07:19

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 3 508

30/12/2018 06:00

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 376

30/01/2016 06:47

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 745

You deserved it 1 800

12/01/2015 05:03

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 568

You deserved it 3 307

21/08/2016 09:21

Spicy

Today, my friends told me they have been able to see all my BDSM likes in their Facebook feeds. My family and coworkers also follow me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 489

You deserved it 18 686

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Tuesday 13 October 2020 3:11

.... I don't get how people are on your side with this. you literally went on a rampage and are justifying it with sneezes. you could have slammed on your breaks before or after you hit the first tree at the very least.

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 12 October 2020 22:56

You're lucky the trees were small enough to drive through. One mature tree and you would never have to worry about sneezing again.

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Monday 12 October 2020 22:03

Gesundheit! To be honest, this has always been one of my biggest fears while driving.

raven_of_azarath 34

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Tuesday 13 October 2020 4:48

Same. I try as hard as I can to either hold my sneeze or keep my eyes open. That split second of a sneeze could be all it takes to get in an accident.

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 12 October 2020 22:56

You're lucky the trees were small enough to drive through. One mature tree and you would never have to worry about sneezing again.

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 October 2020 3:11

.... I don't get how people are on your side with this. you literally went on a rampage and are justifying it with sneezes. you could have slammed on your breaks before or after you hit the first tree at the very least.

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 October 2020 18:02

Did you get the Cheezit out at least?