Work: Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great...

By Bummed - 12/06/2016 19:44

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 889

You deserved it 967

Work

Hiding from the drama

Best teeth in the game

The smell detective is on the case

By everfresh - 26/01/2011 10:38 - Finland

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 117

You deserved it 3 805

By mrteacher - 21/08/2009 22:15 - United States

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 166

You deserved it 47 140

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 256

You deserved it 59 462

Sounds healthy

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 10:00 - United States

Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 132

True Love Waits

By anonomus - 01/06/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 70 145

By stuck - 23/03/2015 15:51 - United States - Bridgeview

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 4 650

By randomusername99 - 05/05/2014 21:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 592

You deserved it 4 728

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 02:08 - United States - Spanaway

Today, an elderly patient complained because I used the words "vaginal" and "breast". I work at an OBGYN's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 772

By wrecked - 09/06/2014 21:03 - United States

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 242

You deserved it 5 608

By MitchFail - 23/07/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 667

You deserved it 73 915

By nobar - 04/06/2019 06:00

Today, I learned how to make my fridge colder. I felt that what it was set on felt a little warmer than normal, so I turned it down. Now everything in my fridge is frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 1 649

By ouch - 29/02/2012 19:18 - Italy

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 848

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:39 - United States - Long Beach

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 282

You deserved it 13 941

By smashleighfig - 08/03/2010 05:14 - France

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 021

You deserved it 3 595

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, my 19 year old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 634

You deserved it 2 174

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 902

You deserved it 12 937

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:27 - United States

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 2 723

By dontplaywithmyfeelings - 03/03/2015 01:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 733

You deserved it 2 725

By seriously - 17/12/2014 13:33 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 528

You deserved it 3 573

By "lk07" - 27/10/2017 23:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578

You deserved it 316

By Bridget Jones? - 10/06/2013 13:09 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 398

You deserved it 5 110

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 905

You deserved it 1 117

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 314

By hamburglar - 11/08/2016 18:46 - United States - Irving

Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 492

You deserved it 8 432

Dad, no, enough!

By Tooyoungforthis - 04/01/2013 00:34 - United States - Arvada

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 359

You deserved it 2 288

By PrayingForMoney - 25/03/2013 08:48 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 612

You deserved it 6 432

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 3 034

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 06:26

Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 217

By oops - 21/09/2013 01:30 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 260

You deserved it 7 000

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 166

You deserved it 3 365

By Overflow - 16/08/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 229

You deserved it 63 007

By Anonymous - 10/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Kent

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 883

You deserved it 5 224

Overcome

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 16:59

Today, I just finished a client meeting. I couldn’t stop stuttering and couldn’t answer their questions. Towards the end, they just ignored me. I’ve been in the job for a year. I’m pretty much in tears now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 191

It never rains, it pours

By jaeilssanguh - 26/11/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 974

You deserved it 6 130

By ManagerWithoutRespect - 05/12/2016 05:14 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 868

You deserved it 858

By LostFocus - 11/12/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 993

You deserved it 25 467

By fmylife. - 29/11/2010 18:02 - Canada

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 465

You deserved it 3 733

Panic on the streets of…

By Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

You deserved it 15 469

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 001

You deserved it 7 227

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 23:04 - United States

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 2 834

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Top comments

metazoanhaddock 11

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:08

Hopefully whichever position they don't take will then be offered to you, as the obvious second choice.

Trondiver427 9

Sunday 7 August 2016 7:06

Deleted

Viper_Revenge 10

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:06

So youve been screwed over twice

Trondiver427 9

Sunday 7 August 2016 7:06

Deleted

ZombieSlaya115 17

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:07

That really sucks OP. You should go back there and ask if you did anything wrong.

vinnie_boombotz 15

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:07

Seems like you're doing well so far. Keep at it OP, things will work out!

metazoanhaddock 11

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:08

Hopefully whichever position they don't take will then be offered to you, as the obvious second choice.

tarlax 11

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:32

Uhh, it wasn't the same person applying for both jobs.

AverageAvarice 23

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Sunday 7 August 2016 8:16

It is phrased kind of ambiguously.

Earl_KarmasBitch 29

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Sunday 7 August 2016 8:58

If it was the same person then OP should be happy. Finding a good job is temporary. But finding an arch-enemy is for life.

anarchy_dropzz 11

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Sunday 7 August 2016 11:59

I think he may mean that at each position, there was another different person who got the job, so no jobs left :(

ClairvoyantVamp 19

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Sunday 7 August 2016 15:56

i thought the same thing as #5 at first, and was wondering why it was an FML since it seemed like an easy fix. Thanks for the clarification.

Taco The Dank 27

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Monday 8 August 2016 14:40

it doesn't feel good to be a pity vote

Odin1624 12

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Sunday 7 August 2016 7:34

Don't sweat it, keep grinding and you'll get your shot OP

Sofia94_fml 15

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Sunday 7 August 2016 8:47

Maybe you can contact the companies and ask them if your competitor rejected their offer (in a professional way), if they would consider you for the offer. And if they do accept you, I know it would suck thinking you are a second choice but once you get working you can do your best and show them what they would have missed out on!

TheLostCauseFML 40

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Sunday 7 August 2016 8:56

That truly sucks, OP. But if you were neck and neck with the other guy, the job he doesn't choose, you should at least have the other job option...

Bearsmomma 30

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Monday 8 August 2016 5:12

you misunderstood. 2 different interviews. 2 different people filled the jobs. op was passed up on both

eyepuppy 31

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Sunday 7 August 2016 14:14

I hate to tell you, but you were probably not neck and neck with another person. HR typically says that to everyone just to make you feel better in case it doesn't work with the other applicants.

jcash52426 5

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Sunday 7 August 2016 21:19

Isn't it possible that someone was more qualified then you that was interviewing for those jobs. If this is your First time trying to get a job then you need to understand that sometime your going to have to go on many job interviews before you get a job. Good luck with the job search and don't be afraid to ask why they didn't hire you.