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OP here, I didnt "hack" into her account really, I asked her if I could use her account to try and plan myself a surprise party.. Mainly because Ive always wanted one but never had anyone step up to do it. She gave me her password so I could do it. But apparently that was a waste of time according to my mother...

By megean c.l. - 20/01/2013 21:36 - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 8 023

Right

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 298

You deserved it 48 051

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 010

You deserved it 221

Blankity Blank

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 17:15 - United States - Savage

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 563

You deserved it 16 339

Drained

By please_no - 16/03/2010 14:40 - United States

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 575

You deserved it 3 349

By Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 017

You deserved it 14 139

Slight overreaction?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 07:37

Today, my husband and I recently decided not to have kids, because neither of us like children. Learning this, my dad wrote me out of his will and my mother swore on the Bible in church that she’s never going to speak to me again until I obey God's word and start multiplying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 295

Foiled by genetics

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting with my optician and it came up that eye colour is determined by parents eye colour, such as how blue and brown-eyed parents can’t make a green-eyed baby. My wife and I are blue and brown. Our 6 year-old has green eyes. I confronted her and she admitted she'd had an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 142

Broke boy

By Carmen - 11/04/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 545

You deserved it 5 685

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 264

You deserved it 35 015

By kkiv - 29/08/2009 07:21 - Poland

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancée is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 112

You deserved it 3 309

kkiv tells us more.

kkiv 0

Monday 31 August 2009 12:29

I don't really have the patience to answer every single comment, let me just say: - to those of you who say I'm stupid/naive for thinking he might care about me this time: he invited me. it was official. the wedding was small, and I'm not sure he even distributed any sort of invitations on paper. of course it's impossible to sum up 21 years of a father-daughter relationship in one FML post, so I wrote that he didn't really care about me, because that's the overall leitmotif. - to those who say I should get over it et cetera - I am over it. you should have seen me when it happened, I just shook my head, put on a bitter smile and told my mother he didn't call, surprise surprise. the reason I posted this here was that just because I'm over it, and just because I'm used to having a shitty father, doesn't mean it's alright and natural. plus it had a comical accent to it, which I'm surprised nobody caught. guess it's my Polish sense of humour. and yes, I am turning the other cheek, and when he calls, I answer, and when he offers to meet, I agree. not because I'm naive, and not because I'm some sort of martyr - sometimes even I don't know why I keep giving him one chance after another. I just don't really see any sense in me ignoring him, or getting back at him, or anything of that sort, it's just not my way of thinking. and to be honest, I do laugh about it sometimes. yes, my father is an asshole, he's a selfish prick and doesn't deserve to have kids, but like my mother said: - well, honey, what can I say? he was really handsome, AND on the basketball team. and just look at how pretty you are..!