Awkward...

Lol that's probably normal behaviour for him

Maybe at first, but you can really get to know people this way. ?

This is the stabdard greeting in Northeast Texas. What's so wierd about it?

awkward turtle

What is this stabdard greeting you mention?? Sounds painful.

Standard*, sorry I have pudge fingers....

Yeah but you said you had an iPhone, I just tried to spell standard as stabdard and my phone told me to go make fuck on myself...

Make fuck on yourself? That sounds delicious

I don't use autocorrect, and I don't always catch my mistakes before I post, usually after I hit submit do I see them. I strive for perfect grammar, but alas I am human and my fingers mess up occasionally.

Chill brah. I kid I kid!

It's fine, I love people who correct me because it helps me better myself.

Why is CryMoreFMLs and Keymans conversation thumbed down, it was very educational.

I sometimes thumb down the people who reply to the first comment just to get to the top of the page.

85- I expect you to be thumbing down yourself any moment now...

OP you should have taken your AK-47 out from under your hat and blew him away with a rat-at-at-tat, but you ran outta bullets and ran away. (starts humming the rest of ultimate showdown).

Shithead.

What happens in the men's room, stays in the men's room.

I would have just shat all over his face

Not as awkward when he then said "I just jizzed in ma pantz"

This.

Where do you work...

Those weird Texans...

162 it's called keep Austin weird for a reason

Indeed awkward but it cracked me up and I don't know why

Op should've kicked him in the face

You know your job sucks when John Madden gives play by play while your on the toilet... "And this little piece dropped here, and had it dropped here I would've made a smiley face."

Creepy..?

Just a bit.

He shoots...AND HE SCORES!

That made little to no fucking sense

That's why I only take a dump at home.

Who does that?

LOVE Your phone case, where'd you get it?

95- Walmart lol

Gross

I love your case! Lol sorry random :D

Creepy perverted weird dude...

Atleast ops not a woman....Right?

How does OP not being a woman make this better?

It doesn't. AT all. o.o

and u didnt think of punching his face ?

I'd think kicking would be more effective in this situation.

That's exactly what I had in mind. Perfect!

I would have personally tried stomping on his face

Shitting on him would have the appropriate response I think.

Peeing would also be an option.

Or just letting him be.. Not like he was going to kill you or something, no need to break his face.

136- no, no need to break it. just permanently deform

136-so you are perfectly fine with people staring at you as you shit?

156- no and I would never be, I'm Just saying no need to assault him

Kicking would be a better choice

Yay! Let's play kick-a-creep! :D

You should work somewhere less weird....

Who the heck taught him proper bathroom etiquette?

Yeah, then look at your picture you have.

Yeah... Like dressing up as a children's cartoon character and eat kids

Was it pedo bear?

Only if the OP was between the ages of 0-18

But pedo said I was the only one :(

15? Too old

133 - Fail.

I though 133 was a girl, until I stalked his profile....

Interesting

"Peek-a-boo, I see you!"

Umm....

That is such a cute little Shih Tzu :3

It'll be a fun day at work tomorrow don't worry

Acute

Odd

Even

Negative

Imaginary

Positive

Neutral

Obtuse

Scalene

isosceles

Equilateral

Combo Breaker

FUCK COMBO BREAKERS, keep it coming. Acute.

Platonic

Did you hear a camera phone shutter sound? That always creeps me out in bathrooms.

Firstly, please don't kick my kind :(
Secondly, it's probably the unlocking sound on phones that you hear, not the camera sound

I don't kick all gingers. A lot of them are ridiculously attractive.

And sadly no, I went to the movies with my brothers a few weeks back and heard the shutter sound when I walked in the ladies room and "my husband would be proud" was voiced. Oh god I just threw up a little.

Hahaha that's messed the fuck up!