Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
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Top comments
By
steadycreepin
| 5
Awkward...
By
th4m4ster
| 6
and u didnt think of punching his face ?
COMMENTS
By
steadycreepin
| 5
Awkward...
Reply
CommenSense
| 0
Lol that's probably normal behaviour for him
Reply
Invasion976
| 6
Maybe at first, but you can really get to know people this way. ?
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
This is the stabdard greeting in Northeast Texas. What's so wierd about it?
Reply
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
awkward turtle
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
What is this stabdard greeting you mention?? Sounds painful.
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
Standard*, sorry I have pudge fingers....
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
Yeah but you said you had an iPhone, I just tried to spell standard as stabdard and my phone told me to go make fuck on myself...
Reply
LaydiexSkull
| 3
Make fuck on yourself? That sounds delicious
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
I don't use autocorrect, and I don't always catch my mistakes before I post, usually after I hit submit do I see them. I strive for perfect grammar, but alas I am human and my fingers mess up occasionally.
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
Chill brah. I kid I kid!
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
It's fine, I love people who correct me because it helps me better myself.
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
Why is CryMoreFMLs and Keymans conversation thumbed down, it was very educational.
Reply
illmatic2
| 16
I sometimes thumb down the people who reply to the first comment just to get to the top of the page.
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
85- I expect you to be thumbing down yourself any moment now...
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
OP you should have taken your AK-47 out from under your hat and blew him away with a rat-at-at-tat, but you ran outta bullets and ran away. (starts humming the rest of ultimate showdown).
Reply
FarSide
| 22
Shithead.
Reply
fakeaccountX
| 6
What happens in the men's room, stays in the men's room.
Reply
monkeebalz
| 0
I would have just shat all over his face
Reply
TheCylonmaster
| 3
Not as awkward when he then said "I just jizzed in ma pantz"
Reply
greatness101
| 0
This.
Reply
cruxx
| 0
Where do you work...
Reply
Fekenator
| 0
Those weird Texans...
Reply
steadycreepin
| 5
162 it's called keep Austin weird for a reason
Reply
sloppyflow
| 1
Indeed awkward but it cracked me up and I don't know why
Reply
Mario_lib
| 6
Op should've kicked him in the face
Reply
BlAcKxJe5uS
| 6
You know your job sucks when John Madden gives play by play while your on the toilet... "And this little piece dropped here, and had it dropped here I would've made a smiley face."
By
strokesie
| 23
Creepy..?
Reply
Jesus_Christ69
| 0
Just a bit.
Reply
Lanceeden
| 12
He shoots...AND HE SCORES!
Reply
RetardedChipmunk
| 7
That made little to no fucking sense
Reply
StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
That's why I only take a dump at home.
Reply
chaoticxxxmess
| 3
Who does that?
Reply
TheTerenity
| 9
LOVE Your phone case, where'd you get it?
Reply
strokesie
| 23
95- Walmart lol
Reply
lilwaynerockz_fml
| 12
Gross
Reply
iiloveeyouuxD
| 0
I love your case! Lol sorry random :D
Reply
Georgieeporgiee
| 9
Creepy perverted weird dude...
Reply
howdmynosego
| 12
Atleast ops not a woman....Right?
Reply
Daralea
| 21
How does OP not being a woman make this better?
Reply
WinterBlue42
| 22
It doesn't. AT all. o.o
By
th4m4ster
| 6
and u didnt think of punching his face ?
Reply
tylersign
| 11
I'd think kicking would be more effective in this situation.
Reply
Dink995
| 0
That's exactly what I had in mind. Perfect!
Reply
ant1078
| 7
I would have personally tried stomping on his face
Reply
HomeAl0ne
| 20
Shitting on him would have the appropriate response I think.
Reply
lilwaynerockz_fml
| 12
Peeing would also be an option.
Reply
asoptavlo14
| 6
Or just letting him be.. Not like he was going to kill you or something, no need to break his face.
Reply
skata
| 4
136- no, no need to break it. just permanently deform
Reply
lilwaynerockz_fml
| 12
136-so you are perfectly fine with people staring at you as you shit?
Reply
asoptavlo14
| 6
156- no and I would never be, I'm Just saying no need to assault him
Reply
construction
| 7
Kicking would be a better choice
Reply
Error504
| 6
Yay! Let's play kick-a-creep! :D
By
UnicornPukePink
| 0
You should work somewhere less weird....
Reply
ipodlover1995
| 0
Who the heck taught him proper bathroom etiquette?
Reply
LoveLife293
| 2
Yeah, then look at your picture you have.
Reply
construction
| 7
Yeah... Like dressing up as a children's cartoon character and eat kids
By
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
Was it pedo bear?
Reply
trollsemen
| 8
Only if the OP was between the ages of 0-18
Reply
rawrkittyrawr
| 6
But pedo said I was the only one :(
Reply
herpitydurteedur
| 0
15? Too old
Reply
demonxshadow
| 1
133 - Fail.
Reply
TheSnakeDoctor20
| 17
I though 133 was a girl, until I stalked his profile....
By
77777771
| 12
Interesting
Reply
Lstands4LOSER
| 0
"Peek-a-boo, I see you!"
By
whatgoescomes
| 5
Umm....
Reply
Iskaria
| 0
That is such a cute little Shih Tzu :3
By
Cleao18317
| 11
It'll be a fun day at work tomorrow don't worry
Reply
frozenfreeze
| 5
Acute
By
alex6946
| 10
Odd
Reply
xBrandonIsOnFire
| 6
Even
Reply
MrSexyPants
| 14
Negative
Reply
RetardedChipmunk
| 7
Imaginary
Reply
THE_A_TEEN
| 27
Positive
Reply
ThreeSheetsGone
| 12
Neutral
Reply
olpally
| 32
Obtuse
Reply
number0
| 8
Scalene
Reply
RocketNinjaFish
| 12
isosceles
Reply
BooGhosted
| 0
Equilateral
Reply
nerobluerose
| 10
Combo Breaker
Reply
ItsTheKing
| 10
FUCK COMBO BREAKERS, keep it coming. Acute.
Reply
tona01
| 16
Platonic
By
ikickgingers
| 15
Did you hear a camera phone shutter sound? That always creeps me out in bathrooms.
Reply
everybodyluvsMEN
| 0
Firstly, please don't kick my kind :(
Secondly, it's probably the unlocking sound on phones that you hear, not the camera sound
Secondly, it's probably the unlocking sound on phones that you hear, not the camera sound
Reply
ikickgingers
| 15
I don't kick all gingers. A lot of them are ridiculously attractive.
And sadly no, I went to the movies with my brothers a few weeks back and heard the shutter sound when I walked in the ladies room and "my husband would be proud" was voiced. Oh god I just threw up a little.
And sadly no, I went to the movies with my brothers a few weeks back and heard the shutter sound when I walked in the ladies room and "my husband would be proud" was voiced. Oh god I just threw up a little.
Reply
everybodyluvsMEN
| 0
Hahaha that's messed the fuck up!