By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 015
You deserved it 3 541

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and u didnt think of punching his face ?


Lol that's probably normal behaviour for him

Maybe at first, but you can really get to know people this way. ?

This is the stabdard greeting in Northeast Texas. What's so wierd about it?

Glitterhinoceros 14

awkward turtle

What is this stabdard greeting you mention?? Sounds painful.

Standard*, sorry I have pudge fingers....

Yeah but you said you had an iPhone, I just tried to spell standard as stabdard and my phone told me to go make fuck on myself...

LaydiexSkull 3

Make fuck on yourself? That sounds delicious

I don't use autocorrect, and I don't always catch my mistakes before I post, usually after I hit submit do I see them. I strive for perfect grammar, but alas I am human and my fingers mess up occasionally.

Chill brah. I kid I kid!

It's fine, I love people who correct me because it helps me better myself.

Why is CryMoreFMLs and Keymans conversation thumbed down, it was very educational.

I sometimes thumb down the people who reply to the first comment just to get to the top of the page.

85- I expect you to be thumbing down yourself any moment now...

OP you should have taken your AK-47 out from under your hat and blew him away with a rat-at-at-tat, but you ran outta bullets and ran away. (starts humming the rest of ultimate showdown).


fakeaccountX 6

What happens in the men's room, stays in the men's room.

monkeebalz 0

I would have just shat all over his face

Not as awkward when he then said "I just jizzed in ma pantz"

cruxx 0

Where do you work...

Those weird Texans...

162 it's called keep Austin weird for a reason

Indeed awkward but it cracked me up and I don't know why

Mario_lib 6

Op should've kicked him in the face

BlAcKxJe5uS 6

You know your job sucks when John Madden gives play by play while your on the toilet... "And this little piece dropped here, and had it dropped here I would've made a smiley face."

He shoots...AND HE SCORES!

That made little to no fucking sense

chaoticxxxmess 3

Who does that?

LOVE Your phone case, where'd you get it?

95- Walmart lol

I love your case! Lol sorry random :D

Georgieeporgiee 9

Creepy perverted weird dude...

Atleast ops not a woman....Right?

How does OP not being a woman make this better?

WinterBlue42 22

It doesn't. AT all. o.o

and u didnt think of punching his face ?

tylersign 11

I'd think kicking would be more effective in this situation.

Dink995 0

That's exactly what I had in mind. Perfect!

I would have personally tried stomping on his face

Shitting on him would have the appropriate response I think.

Peeing would also be an option.

asoptavlo14 6

Or just letting him be.. Not like he was going to kill you or something, no need to break his face.

skata 4

136- no, no need to break it. just permanently deform

136-so you are perfectly fine with people staring at you as you shit?

asoptavlo14 6

156- no and I would never be, I'm Just saying no need to assault him

Kicking would be a better choice

Error504 6

Yay! Let's play kick-a-creep! :D

UnicornPukePink 0

You should work somewhere less weird....

ipodlover1995 0

Who the heck taught him proper bathroom etiquette?

davidisbeast 12

I don't think it was a matter of him knowing bathroom ettiquite or not ....

No one, clearly.

LoveLife293 2

Yeah, then look at your picture you have.

Yeah... Like dressing up as a children's cartoon character and eat kids

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

Was it pedo bear?

Only if the OP was between the ages of 0-18

But pedo said I was the only one :(

herpitydurteedur 0

15? Too old

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

I though 133 was a girl, until I stalked his profile....


"Peek-a-boo, I see you!"

That is such a cute little Shih Tzu :3

It'll be a fun day at work tomorrow don't worry

frozenfreeze 5


alex6946 10


xBrandonIsOnFire 6


MrSexyPants 14


olpally 32


RocketNinjaFish 12


BooGhosted 0


Combo Breaker

FUCK COMBO BREAKERS, keep it coming. Acute.


ikickgingers 15

Did you hear a camera phone shutter sound? That always creeps me out in bathrooms.

everybodyluvsMEN 0

Firstly, please don't kick my kind :( Secondly, it's probably the unlocking sound on phones that you hear, not the camera sound

ikickgingers 15

I don't kick all gingers. A lot of them are ridiculously attractive. And sadly no, I went to the movies with my brothers a few weeks back and heard the shutter sound when I walked in the ladies room and "my husband would be proud" was voiced. Oh god I just threw up a little.

everybodyluvsMEN 0

Hahaha that's messed the fuck up!