FML : Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was...

199

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By beleria - / Monday 23 April 2012 22:41 / United States

Miscellaneous

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Radix | 3

#4345809 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:26

It was me, sorry :)

By linkinpark98 | 23

#4345816 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

Comments

By Radix | 3

#4345809 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:26

It was me, sorry :)

comedybreak | 20

#4346419 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:32

O.o hit and run? I'm trying this *me gusta face*

iiTsAJ | 5

#4346466 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:38

Maybe it was yourself o.O

Cad6 | 24

#4346478 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:39

Well, You didn't have to do it "viciously". That just makes it sound disturbing.

Priscilla43 | 2

#4346621 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:58

that sucks ass.

bitch_pleez | 10

#4346788 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 02:30

I think it slaps ass, actually

JayJaysGirl | 0

#4346863 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 02:47

Damn horny ninjas

xcarxcrashx | 9

#4346940 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:13

He liked your melons.

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#4346972 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:23

I thought melons were considered boobs

Exodus9 | 10

#4347001 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:30

They are 95 is just dumb

SmoshFan6 | 0

#4347033 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:38

Watch out, those tomatoes are feisty.

bearnblue | 0

#4347056 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:43

It actually was me >;)

rdrr | 2

#4347123 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:17

Did you call T.A.P.S. ?

NoisyButters | 7

#4347145 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:25

Apparently it must taste pretty good.

williamh327 | 5

#4347290 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 05:04

Or it was... Dementia!!!! Dun dun dun!

idntwannaknow | 3

#4347302 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 05:12

One time I thought this kid was poking me, so I told him to stop multiple times... Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.

ajeppsen | 25

#4347471 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 06:31

We need this for first cooments. Lol hit n run.

mikeofthunder | 13

#4348050 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 09:15

107- she's not eating it, but licking it.. Like the woman who does reviews with, I think, IGN? Makes me want to play x-box more actually

m0hami01 | 2

#4348882 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 02:40

Little people are so sneaky.

NoisyButters | 7

#4349684 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 05:58

168 - I hope you know that not all girl gamers lick their controllers while playing games...only the ones who want attention.

ImDaBes | 6

#4350309 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 09:14

183 - Well its working

alitairi | 18

#6169201 - Sunday 11 January 2015 06:19

says the girl with a picture of a ds in her mouth...

By linkinpark98 | 23

#4345816 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

X_Codes | 11

#4346841 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 02:40

Or a Jedi. You know, that whole "no emotional bonds" thing...

cheaptrix | 6

#4347114 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:14

Or the fruit ninjas

trollfaced | 2

#4347915 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 08:23

Or the ghost casper

Webslinger66 | 10

#4347938 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 08:30

Paranormal Activity.... Grocery store setting this time

By SkoomaKi | 24

#4345818 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:28

Take it as a compliment! Although lock your doors and windows when you get home...

obviousboy | 8

#4346530 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:46

Locked doors an windows do not stop ninjas.

zachherbert | 10

#4347090 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 03:59

Looking behind doesn't help either. Just remove your ass.

Sixers01 | 0

#4347412 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 06:09

I may be exagerating just a bit but, I swear you're one of the first ten in every single fucking recent FML.. I think it's time to get some sunshine buddy..

anzie_fml | 9

#4347678 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 07:29

141- if you took time to read all of their comments, or at least recognize that they've commented a lot, you may also be "in need of sunshine". Jussayin.

SkoomaKi | 24

#4348064 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 09:22

141 - You want to know how I comment in the first 10 a lot? I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.

daytoday21 | 10

#4753676 - Tuesday 31 July 2012 04:35

Yea...take unwanted violent sexual contact as a compliment. What a ridiculously inappropriate thing to say.

By jillianmathers12 | 13

#4345820 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:28

Probably teenage boys trying to make you think that you are crazy!

Cad6 | 24

#4346500 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:41

Yes. That's definitely what happened.

domking1315 | 20

#4346522 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:45

How would they do that

Cintia07 | 7

#4346580 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:51

I don't see many teenage boys at the grocery store, but I see a little kid playing that trick.

The_Hitdude | 12

#4346619 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:58

Oh, it was just teenage boys? Phew! Glad perverts and potential gropers were ruled out! Now I can go back to streaking at the mall! Thanks 5!

swisher_swishin | 3

#4346677 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 02:05

My first thought was a midget.. She would see a teenager

KriiFahMoro | 9

#4347372 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 05:51

Teen midget maybe?

By btstig | 11

#4345822 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:29

Maybe it was a cucumber giving you a little foreplay.

By LadyLol_fml | 15

#4345834 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:31

Sorry Honey, it may have been my ninja self ;)

ninjaboy18 | 6

#4347404 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 06:06

Noor is more of a ninja than I am.

By KaelaKhaotic | 5

#4345844 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:32

I ran too fast for you to see me. Sorry about that. ;]

adriandba94 | 2

#4349218 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:10

Lol

By kingsley_fml | 8

#4346424 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:33

Maybe it was the assparagus.

ydi_4_suking | 20

#4346506 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:43

The assgrabagus

KeyboardWarrior | 10

#4347326 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 05:24

Asslapigus? Never mind, sounds like a bad casserole.

By ClosetTroll | 10

#4346427 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:33

Be glad it wasn't the butt-slashing psychopath!

linkinpark98 | 23

#4346441 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:35

Or the Hash-Slinging Slasher! (SpongeBob reference.)

ClosetTroll | 10

#4346578 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:51

"And then, one night, while he was cutting the patties, it happened!"

GODert | 8

#4347193 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:37

Its the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

LSS_fml | 18

#4347226 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:48

Nothing gets past you 120

atrix821 | 2

#4347241 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:52

Or the the-rapeist

GODert | 8

#4347253 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 04:54

Its was the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

MsMeiriona | 2

#4348544 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:44

I thought they determined that was just mass hysteria, the whole crowd panic thing.

By CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#4346429 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 01:34

It was the jewpacabra!

Similar

Nearly

Today, I realized that my social life is so dead the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I woke up to my rickety old ceiling fan above my bed crashing down on top of me. I'm fine, however I am now grounded until I can buy a new ceiling...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

World

Loading data…

Bangladesh

Not going, going back, back to Cali, Cali

Today, I found out I will not be moving back to California. My mom told me we were going to go on a 2 month vacation to see family in India. She decided...

Republic of Korea

Time to invest in a gas mask!

Today, after living in Korea for 6 months due to my husband's military career, doctors finally found out why I've been sick since I've been here. I'm allergic...

See all the World FMLs

Photos

See all FML photos