Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
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Top comments
By
Radix
| 3
It was me, sorry :)
By
linkinpark98
| 23
Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)
COMMENTS
By
Radix
| 3
It was me, sorry :)
Reply
comedybreak
| 20
O.o hit and run? I'm trying this *me gusta face*
Reply
iiTsAJ
| 5
Maybe it was yourself o.O
Reply
Cad6
| 24
Well, You didn't have to do it "viciously". That just makes it sound disturbing.
Reply
Priscilla43
| 2
that sucks ass.
Reply
bitch_pleez
| 10
I think it slaps ass, actually
Reply
JayJaysGirl
| 0
Damn horny ninjas
Reply
xcarxcrashx
| 9
He liked your melons.
Reply
EagorLuvsBigFoot
| 8
I thought melons were considered boobs
Reply
Exodus9
| 10
They are 95 is just dumb
Reply
SmoshFan6
| 0
Watch out, those tomatoes are feisty.
Reply
bearnblue
| 0
It actually was me >;)
Reply
rdrr
| 2
Did you call T.A.P.S. ?
Reply
NoisyButters
| 7
Apparently it must taste pretty good.
Reply
williamh327
| 5
Or it was...
Dementia!!!!
Dun dun dun!
Dementia!!!!
Dun dun dun!
Reply
idntwannaknow
| 3
One time I thought this kid was poking me, so I told him to stop multiple times...
Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.
Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.
Reply
ajeppsen
| 25
We need this for first cooments. Lol hit n run.
Reply
mikeofthunder
| 13
107- she's not eating it, but licking it.. Like the woman who does reviews with, I think, IGN? Makes me want to play x-box more actually
Reply
m0hami01
| 2
Little people are so sneaky.
Reply
NoisyButters
| 7
168 - I hope you know that not all girl gamers lick their controllers while playing games...only the ones who want attention.
Reply
ImDaBes
| 6
183 - Well its working
Reply
alitairi
| 18
says the girl with a picture of a ds in her mouth...
By
linkinpark98
| 23
Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)
Reply
X_Codes
| 11
Or a Jedi. You know, that whole "no emotional bonds" thing...
Reply
cheaptrix
| 6
Or the fruit ninjas
Reply
trollfaced
| 2
Or the ghost casper
Reply
Webslinger66
| 10
Paranormal Activity.... Grocery store setting this time
By
SkoomaKi
| 27
Take it as a compliment! Although lock your doors and windows when you get home...
Reply
obviousboy
| 8
Locked doors an windows do not stop ninjas.
Reply
zachherbert
| 10
Looking behind doesn't help either. Just remove your ass.
Reply
Sixers01
| 0
I may be exagerating just a bit but, I swear you're one of the first ten in every single fucking recent FML.. I think it's time to get some sunshine buddy..
Reply
anzie_fml
| 9
141- if you took time to read all of their comments, or at least recognize that they've commented a lot, you may also be "in need of sunshine". Jussayin.
Reply
SkoomaKi
| 27
141 - You want to know how I comment in the first 10 a lot?
I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.
I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.
Reply
daytoday21
| 10
Yea...take unwanted violent sexual contact as a compliment. What a ridiculously inappropriate thing to say.
By
jillianmathers12
| 13
Probably teenage boys trying to make you think that you are crazy!
Reply
Cad6
| 24
Yes. That's definitely what happened.
Reply
domking1315
| 20
How would they do that
Reply
Cintia07
| 7
I don't see many teenage boys at the grocery store, but I see a little kid playing that trick.
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
Oh, it was just teenage boys? Phew! Glad perverts and potential gropers were ruled out! Now I can go back to streaking at the mall! Thanks 5!
Reply
swisher_swishin
| 3
My first thought was a midget.. She would see a teenager
Reply
KriiFahMoro
| 9
Teen midget maybe?
By
btstig
| 11
Maybe it was a cucumber giving you a little foreplay.
By
LadyLol_fml
| 15
Sorry Honey, it may have been my ninja self ;)
Reply
ninjaboy18
| 6
Noor is more of a ninja than I am.
By
KaelaKhaotic
| 5
I ran too fast for you to see me. Sorry about that. ;]
Reply
adriandba94
| 2
Lol
By
kingsley_fml
| 8
Maybe it was the assparagus.
Reply
ydi_4_suking
| 20
The assgrabagus
Reply
KeyboardWarrior
| 10
Asslapigus? Never mind, sounds like a bad casserole.
By
ClosetTroll
| 10
Be glad it wasn't the butt-slashing psychopath!
Reply
linkinpark98
| 23
Or the Hash-Slinging Slasher!
(SpongeBob reference.)
(SpongeBob reference.)
Reply
ClosetTroll
| 10
"And then, one night, while he was cutting the patties, it happened!"
Reply
GODert
| 8
Its the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.
Reply
LSS_fml
| 18
Nothing gets past you 120
Reply
atrix821
| 2
Or the the-rapeist
Reply
GODert
| 8
Its was the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.
Reply
MsMeiriona
| 2
I thought they determined that was just mass hysteria, the whole crowd panic thing.
By
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
It was the jewpacabra!