By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 219
You deserved it 2 888

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It was me, sorry :)

linkinpark98 23

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)


It was me, sorry :)

O.o hit and run? I'm trying this *me gusta face*

Maybe it was yourself o.O

Well, You didn't have to do it "viciously". That just makes it sound disturbing.

Priscilla43 2

that sucks ass.

bitch_pleez 10

I think it slaps ass, actually

JayJaysGirl 0

Damn horny ninjas

He liked your melons.

I thought melons were considered boobs

They are 95 is just dumb

Watch out, those tomatoes are feisty.

It actually was me >;)

Did you call T.A.P.S. ?

Apparently it must taste pretty good.

Or it was... Dementia!!!! Dun dun dun!

One time I thought this kid was poking me, so I told him to stop multiple times... Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.

We need this for first cooments. Lol hit n run.

107- she's not eating it, but licking it.. Like the woman who does reviews with, I think, IGN? Makes me want to play x-box more actually

Little people are so sneaky.

168 - I hope you know that not all girl gamers lick their controllers while playing games...only the ones who want attention.

ImDaBes 6

183 - Well its working

says the girl with a picture of a ds in her mouth...

linkinpark98 23

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

X_Codes 11

Or a Jedi. You know, that whole "no emotional bonds" thing...

Or the fruit ninjas

Or the ghost casper

Paranormal Activity.... Grocery store setting this time

Take it as a compliment! Although lock your doors and windows when you get home...

obviousboy 8

Locked doors an windows do not stop ninjas.

Looking behind doesn't help either. Just remove your ass.

Sixers01 0

I may be exagerating just a bit but, I swear you're one of the first ten in every single fucking recent FML.. I think it's time to get some sunshine buddy..

anzie_fml 9

141- if you took time to read all of their comments, or at least recognize that they've commented a lot, you may also be "in need of sunshine". Jussayin.

141 - You want to know how I comment in the first 10 a lot? I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.

Yea...take unwanted violent sexual contact as a compliment. What a ridiculously inappropriate thing to say.

jillianmathers12 13

Probably teenage boys trying to make you think that you are crazy!

Yes. That's definitely what happened.

How would they do that

Cintia07 7

I don't see many teenage boys at the grocery store, but I see a little kid playing that trick.

Oh, it was just teenage boys? Phew! Glad perverts and potential gropers were ruled out! Now I can go back to streaking at the mall! Thanks 5!

My first thought was a midget.. She would see a teenager

KriiFahMoro 9

Teen midget maybe?

btstig 11

Maybe it was a cucumber giving you a little foreplay.

Sorry Honey, it may have been my ninja self ;)

Noor is more of a ninja than I am.

KaelaKhaotic 5

I ran too fast for you to see me. Sorry about that. ;]

kingsley_fml 8

Maybe it was the assparagus.

Asslapigus? Never mind, sounds like a bad casserole.

Be glad it wasn't the butt-slashing psychopath!

linkinpark98 23

Or the Hash-Slinging Slasher! (SpongeBob reference.)

"And then, one night, while he was cutting the patties, it happened!"

Its the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

Nothing gets past you 120

Or the the-rapeist

Its was the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

MsMeiriona 2

I thought they determined that was just mass hysteria, the whole crowd panic thing.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

It was the jewpacabra!