Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up...

By beleria - 23/4/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27104

You deserved it

2868

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Top comments

By Radix | 3

#4345809 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

By linkinpark98 | 23

#4345816 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

Comments

By Radix | 3

#4345809 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

comedybreak | 20

#4346419 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:32

O.o hit and run? I'm trying this *me gusta face*

iiTsAJ | 5

#4346466 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:38

Maybe it was yourself o.O

Cad6 | 24

#4346478 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:39

Well, You didn't have to do it "viciously". That just makes it sound disturbing.

Priscilla43 | 2

#4346621 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:58

that sucks ass.

bitch_pleez | 10

#4346788 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:30

I think it slaps ass, actually

JayJaysGirl | 0

#4346863 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:47

Damn horny ninjas

xcarxcrashx | 9

#4346940 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:13

He liked your melons.

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#4346972 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:23

I thought melons were considered boobs

Exodus9 | 10

#4347001 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:30

They are 95 is just dumb

SmoshFan6 | 0

#4347033 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:38

Watch out, those tomatoes are feisty.

bearnblue | 0

#4347056 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:43

It actually was me >;)

rdrr | 2

#4347123 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:17

Did you call T.A.P.S. ?

NoisyButters | 7

#4347145 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:25

Apparently it must taste pretty good.

williamh327 | 5

#4347290 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:04

Or it was...
Dementia!!!!
Dun dun dun!

idntwannaknow | 3

#4347302 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:12

One time I thought this kid was poking me, so I told him to stop multiple times...
Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.

ajeppsen | 25

#4347471 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:31

We need this for first cooments. Lol hit n run.

mikeofthunder | 13

#4348050 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 9:15

107- she's not eating it, but licking it.. Like the woman who does reviews with, I think, IGN? Makes me want to play x-box more actually

m0hami01 | 2

#4348882 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:40

Little people are so sneaky.

NoisyButters | 7

#4349684 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 17:58

168 - I hope you know that not all girl gamers lick their controllers while playing games...only the ones who want attention.

ImDaBes | 6

#4350309 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:14

183 - Well its working

alitairi | 18

#6169201 - Sunday 11 January 2015 6:19

says the girl with a picture of a ds in her mouth...

By linkinpark98 | 23

#4345816 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

X_Codes | 11

#4346841 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:40

Or a Jedi. You know, that whole "no emotional bonds" thing...

cheaptrix | 6

#4347114 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:14

Or the fruit ninjas

trollfaced | 2

#4347915 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:23

Or the ghost casper

Webslinger66 | 10

#4347938 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:30

Paranormal Activity.... Grocery store setting this time

By SkoomaKi | 25

#4345818 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Take it as a compliment! Although lock your doors and windows when you get home...

obviousboy | 8

#4346530 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:46

Locked doors an windows do not stop ninjas.

zachherbert | 10

#4347090 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:59

Looking behind doesn't help either. Just remove your ass.

Sixers01 | 0

#4347412 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:09

I may be exagerating just a bit but, I swear you're one of the first ten in every single fucking recent FML.. I think it's time to get some sunshine buddy..

anzie_fml | 9

#4347678 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:29

141- if you took time to read all of their comments, or at least recognize that they've commented a lot, you may also be "in need of sunshine". Jussayin.

SkoomaKi | 25

#4348064 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 9:22

141 - You want to know how I comment in the first 10 a lot?

I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.

daytoday21 | 10

#4753676 - Tuesday 31 July 2012 4:35

Yea...take unwanted violent sexual contact as a compliment. What a ridiculously inappropriate thing to say.

By jillianmathers12 | 13

#4345820 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Probably teenage boys trying to make you think that you are crazy!

Cad6 | 24

#4346500 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:41

Yes. That's definitely what happened.

domking1315 | 20

#4346522 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:45

How would they do that

Cintia07 | 7

#4346580 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:51

I don't see many teenage boys at the grocery store, but I see a little kid playing that trick.

The_Hitdude | 12

#4346619 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:58

Oh, it was just teenage boys? Phew! Glad perverts and potential gropers were ruled out! Now I can go back to streaking at the mall! Thanks 5!

swisher_swishin | 3

#4346677 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:05

My first thought was a midget.. She would see a teenager

KriiFahMoro | 9

#4347372 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:51

Teen midget maybe?

By btstig | 11

#4345822 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:29

Maybe it was a cucumber giving you a little foreplay.

By LadyLol_fml | 15

#4345834 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:31

Sorry Honey, it may have been my ninja self ;)

ninjaboy18 | 6

#4347404 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:06

Noor is more of a ninja than I am.

By KaelaKhaotic | 5

#4345844 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:32

I ran too fast for you to see me. Sorry about that. ;]

adriandba94 | 2

#4349218 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 16:10

Lol

By kingsley_fml | 8

#4346424 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:33

Maybe it was the assparagus.

ydi_4_suking | 20

#4346506 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:43

The assgrabagus

KeyboardWarrior | 10

#4347326 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:24

Asslapigus? Never mind, sounds like a bad casserole.

By ClosetTroll | 10

#4346427 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:33

Be glad it wasn't the butt-slashing psychopath!

linkinpark98 | 23

#4346441 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:35

Or the Hash-Slinging Slasher!
(SpongeBob reference.)

ClosetTroll | 10

#4346578 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:51

"And then, one night, while he was cutting the patties, it happened!"

GODert | 8

#4347193 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:37

Its the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

LSS_fml | 18

#4347226 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:48

Nothing gets past you 120

atrix821 | 2

#4347241 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:52

Or the the-rapeist

GODert | 8

#4347253 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:54

Its was the hash slinging slasher. Its a spongebob square pants reference.

MsMeiriona | 2

#4348544 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:44

I thought they determined that was just mass hysteria, the whole crowd panic thing.

By CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#4346429 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:34

It was the jewpacabra!