Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine told everyone that I had a crush on a girl I used to be really good friends with 2 years ago. I never liked her that way, and had said that only to hide the fact that I'm gay and don't feel safe with boys. Her current boyfriend is seriously annoyed with me. FML
Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
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Top comments
1known 34
Go file a complaint against this jerk. His daughter is not his property and he has no right to treat you that way. And then you can talk to your friend.
tounces7 28
Does he know? Because maybe you should inform him so he doesn't get unrealistic expectations.
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Comments (5)
tounces7 28
Does he know? Because maybe you should inform him so he doesn't get unrealistic expectations.
Jon Tessler 14
your being gay, does not prevent her from falling in love with you. time to talk to her, and figure out some way to keep your friendship, while dealing with her feelings of unrequited love.
1known 34
Go file a complaint against this jerk. His daughter is not his property and he has no right to treat you that way. And then you can talk to your friend.
Nhayaa2.0 17
You don't choose who you fall in love with. So even if she knows, you being gay is not an valid argument...
ClickClackClive 3
He put you in a headlock?? What an A-hole....