Intimacy, Health, Sex and New year's day: Late results - FML

Late results

By ohbutno - 08/02/2022 18:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 548

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Same thing different taste

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 795

You deserved it 7 273

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 338

You deserved it 5 294

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 559

You deserved it 656

Smelly Finger Nights

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Carmichael

Spicy

Today, I learned that not only do I have bacterial vaginosis, but I ALSO have gonorrhea from a hookup. The only symptoms I'm having? Anal itching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 1 155

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 18 672

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 2 064

Ménage à nope

By 3somer - 20/08/2017 04:29

Spicy

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 5 097

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 226

You deserved it 4 530

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 491

You deserved it 1 969

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 8 February 2022 23:09

I don't think you got gonorrhea that way. Anything else happen that night?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

Today, I found out the guy I was talking and mutually flirty with is married. I was under the impression that he was divorced, up until when he told me that he's married and assumed that I knew. He says he's in a loveless marriage because his wife cheated and they're staying together for their little kid. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 158

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 818

You deserved it 30 755

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 033

You deserved it 3 482

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fish. My coworker named them what I thought were completely random names. I said, "Those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kids' names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 595

You deserved it 32 370

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 139

You deserved it 39 067

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 098

You deserved it 4 002