FYL, he's a douche.

Best Of two Worlds!!!!!!

He just wants some sour stinking pussy haha

WORST. PUN. EVAR. (If you don't get it, think about what a common substance for douches is.)

After I read the first sentence, I thought OP was going to say when you take off the bra, it's half empty

KITTYCAT1597 OR WHATEVER IT IS. YOU LIKE ESCAPE THE FATE?! AAHH ALLOST NO ONE KNOWS THEM. I LOVE THEM. SO NOW I LOVE YOU.

Guy es numbah 1 douche bag fo sho. Needs to learn to be a man.

I want to gauge how much of a douche he is though. Is OP the BBQ or Salt N Vinegar

numbah 54- why do you feel replacing r with h, and I with e, makes you sound good? you sound like just as big a douche as op's hopefully ex boyfriend. and op, I feel bad for you and I really hope you can see how stupid this guy is and move on.

Although he is right about the chip thing... Not the metaphor, but just changing up what chips you get.

Does that mean he went out and had sex with a man haha

Women are chips? We're cheap, greasy potato flakes that crap for your health and make you sick? Fucking really.

He needs to learn to be a man? You need to learn some grammar! "fo sho."

54 I am going to slap you.

Ok woman are monogamous, men have it in our genetic coding to spread our seed as far as possible. Don't get made at us because one woman's never enough.

135- Out of ALL of the stupid ass comments I've read on FML, this may be one of the stupidest. Saying they can't blame us for "spreading our seed" because it's in our genetic code is like saying we can't blame someone for murdering their ill babies, because only the strong survive. Times change and people evolve, but evidentially your reasoning.and ethics have not.

Correcting double post

Yea I didnt know you were so self righteous but just because I can stay in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean I don't want to F every hot chick in sight.

I'm sorry...what did you just say?

First!

Nope!

Nope second. Hope they mod you. :)

That was supposed to be a reply to the guy who said First.

Lol same. Thanks Mods for making us look like idiots. *sobbing*

Dump him, he's a dick.

Tell him you understand by saying men are like farm animals. There's only a few stallions, the rest are just pigs.

agree^
OP sorry but he's a jerk. at least now you can dump him and just move on

37 exactly. And you might had that women like pigs best when they're slaughtered and served as bacon.

37- no joke, that sentence is by far the best way I have ever heard to describe a man.

37, That's an odd farm. Full of pigs and a few stallions. Those people really need to branch out more, our farms have greater diversity than that :P
Seriously though, I realise you all believe he is cheating on her, I read it as he's confessing he isn't satisfied in the relationship and WANTS to seek out other people. Only one of those is "pig" behaviour.

Why don't you rub some salt and vinegar into his eyes. Poor OP ):

^ haha I got a chuckle ;)

5- I was thinking the same thing :) But that's just sad that people like that exist. Sorry OP

Or replace his shower gel with the hottest chilli sauce available... What, too much? :/

Demonfish?
Replace his lube for wanking with ghost pepper!

This is probably me just being thick, but I didn't really get this post. Could someone please explain it to me?

Put sand in the vasoline... mwahahaha

124- yes Demonfish (daemonium pisces), aquatic vertebrate of demonic origin, carnivorous diet and shy nature, especially partial to cookies :)

Giggle

Wait, so is he breaking up with her or justifying cheating on her? Somebody help me out here please.

Have the same question o.O

He's cheating on his diet.

#6; Either way, he's obviously a bit of a nob to me.
Scenario 1: He's justifying infidelity. With a food analogy. =Dickhead.
Scenario 2: He's breaking up with her, and instead of just saying "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the way I used to." he's using a food analogy. =Dickhead.

6- I got the impression he confessed to cheating on Op and used this opening analogy to explain himself after the fact.

Yeah- sounds like he's trying to justify cheating :(

16) Exactly lol. Either way he's being an ass

13- if he's cheating on a diet, someone better warn OP not to run a red light

I thought he was coming out...........

Lol 95. I love how other FML's are referenced during comments of current FML.

Hey, at least he was creative

"That's good to know because I need a change from your gherkin and that change feels like a whole kosher dill."

Lays....betcha can't have just one. :p
I'm sorry you don't have someone who wants to only be with you, Op. :( I hope you both can work it out, if you want to stay with him. Best of luck.

Wow that comment was immature

I know this FML post is a euphemism for cheating on your significant other, but I'm still curious as to what type of women the flavor of chips pertain to.

Is this the guy who went with the fruit loop of a girl? And now he's using a crisp analogy. Creative guy.

Same op er time

Tell him men are like hotdogs; while you love the bit-sized wieners, sometimes you have to go for the massive sausage.

Hilarious.

Dam that sucks