The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:00 - New Zealand

Today, I'm ignored and bored so much at my dream job that I've started bringing in my fanfiction to write when no one is around. Which is 80% of the day. I'm training to be a civil engineer. My experience writing fanfiction should take me really far in my chosen career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 344

By ImprovTeacher - 16/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 2 422

Better Call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 16:01

Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 118

Shenanigans

By seriouslywtf - 09/12/2023 07:00 - British Virgin Islands

Today, I found out that my husband is cheating on me with my ex-boyfriend, who came out about six months ago. We were still friends, and after they met, my husband admitted that he'd always wanted to "experiment." When I confronted them, he shook hands with my ex and said, "Now I get why you choose guys after her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 245

By annoyed - 20/02/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 214

You deserved it 2 774

By ealovan - 03/03/2014 05:18 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 938

You deserved it 9 694

Ad break

By Remy - 17/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had the brilliant idea of scanning my PC in the afternoon, because Malwarebytes told me I might have malware and it's been running hot and slow lately. Five and a half hours later, the scan is 1.3% complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 183

SWERFs gonna SWERF

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 22:00

Today, my so-called feminist daughter somehow found out I briefly worked as a prostitute when she was a teenager, and has stopped speaking to me. I haven’t the heart to tell her it was the only way I could afford to send her to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 357

The long goodbye

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 147

Woah!

By Mel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 304

You deserved it 13 080

By Noname - 05/03/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 466

You deserved it 4 063

Acrophobia

By Matthew Smith - 21/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my new drone got stuck on the neighbour's roof. I'd bought the drone to look at my roof because I don’t like going up on ladders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 659

It's probably considered art

By firestar772 - 11/02/2013 15:48 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 040

You deserved it 4 478

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 6 468

By Sean - 03/03/2012 07:33 - Canada

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 663

You deserved it 4 734

By 0ros - 12/09/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 4 382

By Username - 04/05/2011 03:24

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 271

You deserved it 4 120

The Jack Nicholson look

By jake - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 009

You deserved it 22 712

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 17 820

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 024

You deserved it 30 895

That's more than I asked for

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 607

You deserved it 4 828

By weddingsalwayssuck - 28/01/2013 21:01 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 702

You deserved it 2 848

By mandy - 05/09/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 95

Sorry pawpaw

By Hello my name is - 22/02/2009 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I went round to my grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my grandparents' living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 984

You deserved it 4 734

Working in retail sucks

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 23:00

Today, a customer yelled at me because we didn't have any laptops in stock. I work at a clothing store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 119

By bumpyroad - 17/04/2011 14:29 - Australia

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 590

You deserved it 7 656

Thanks…

By airrinw_33 - 21/01/2013 03:55 - United States - Greenwood

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 5 740

Ouroboros

By TheSuregeon - 18/03/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 5 949

By Kid - 17/03/2010 09:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 055

You deserved it 80 402

School's out

By Ray Mundo - 18/07/2021 16:01

Today, I was at my school's choir concert, sitting in the audience with some people I had classes with. A guy with a really long beard walked in and I pointed him out to the guy next to me, saying, "Get a load of Duck Dynasty." He replied, "Yeah, that's my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 1 467

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 252

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 796

You deserved it 4 975

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 275

Today, I tried to catch a rogue soccer ball at the park. I sprinted, leapt into the air, and managed to catch it. I also managed to trip on a picnic blanket, crash into a stroller (which was thankfully empty), and fall face-first into a salad bowl full of potato salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 539

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 523

You deserved it 2 355

Today, I took my regular shit, like clockwork. Same time, every single day. Unfortunately, that time is midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 143