Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By aur - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 852

You deserved it 8 002

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Big night

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 971

You deserved it 34 690

Hot and humid

By drooler - 06/08/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 315

You deserved it 40 790

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 939

You deserved it 780

By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 805

You deserved it 8 965

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 336

You deserved it 5 072

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 677

You deserved it 12 201

Candidly

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 04:06 - Canada - London

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 032

You deserved it 7 358

Lost in translation

By ladyhead - 18/12/2008 16:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 024

You deserved it 4 039

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 4 159

MightyMeganLH 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 16:07

Kinky ;)

Andy_King 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 20:22

she wanted to say "oh, i'm so thirsty" in a sexy voice so her boyfriend got her a glass of water. instead she said "oh, i'm so dirty"

Comments

MightyMeganLH 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 16:07

Kinky ;)

WhoIsThe 7

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:57

Thirsty for ****...

barrylarkin 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 19:06

Welp, you won't be living that down any time soon.

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 17:27

I'd hide under a rock the rest of my life.

Andy_King 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 20:22

she wanted to say "oh, i'm so thirsty" in a sexy voice so her boyfriend got her a glass of water. instead she said "oh, i'm so dirty"

Dilwann 27

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:43

I don't get how the French could not pronounce an 's' or at least a 't' so she'd say 'tirsty'. YDI for being bad at english. And being lazy. Go get the damn glass of water yourself.

Wileypube 0

Monday 23 March 2009 15:00

I'm sure that both states of being applied the same.

24788 6

Saturday 2 May 2009 12:45

lol, I'd take that the wrong way in a dirty voice.

megsworld 0

Monday 11 May 2009 23:07

Aww. Im sorry. I hate when people forget/aren't considerate that you have an accent and don't understand what you're trying to say. My entire family has a French accent, so im used to it.

elliekinslurvsya 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 1:05

i agree with #6. anyway...why would you need to say you're thirsty in a sexy voice? what's the point?

skullbashd 3

Wednesday 19 May 2010 23:15

maybe she wanted get some milk from a thbe

Dolarhyde 0

Friday 29 May 2009 3:14

you were close

UConn_Huskies 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:06

@9 not close at all. wtf are you talking about? they're two completely different words. and how is this an fml? What now you have to get yourself some water instead of someone else? wow...

evilalex 4

Friday 29 July 2011 18:02

just shut up i can see how this is an Fml and if you cant you should never go on this sight again

suvks4u 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:28

Some 1 help me out. I don't get it.????:(

bribubbles 10

Monday 16 April 2012 4:53

she (having an accent) thought that dirty meant thirsty and this was her first English boyfriend she probably wanted to sound hot which is why she said it that way.