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By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 04:24 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 593

You deserved it 11 951

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 23:42 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 449

Spawned a monster

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 17:00

Today, I'm ashamed at ever having become a parent after I found out my daughter has been leading an online bullying campaign against a girl at her school who has disabilities, both mental and physical. Some of the language she was using in the online messages were just disgusting and unforgivable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 392

By ashdk - 28/01/2011 09:12

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 5 682

By failure - 16/07/2009 16:25 - Canada

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 622

You deserved it 102 114

By Anonymous - 24/09/2018 05:00

Today, getting home from a long day at work, I checked the mail and saw three envelopes from the IRS. Apparently I now owe over $4,000. I only have $2 in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 411

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 779

You deserved it 4 696

By me. - 15/07/2009 08:02 - United States

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She'd had a nightmare, and I'd read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 483

You deserved it 3 359

By jogger - 27/11/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 435

You deserved it 3 060

By JackOLantern - 13/07/2009 20:16 - Satellite Provider

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 844

You deserved it 33 192

By Badab1ng - 24/11/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 260

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 817

You deserved it 20 534

By froulita - 31/10/2008 06:08 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend doesn't know if he should break up with me because he loves me too much, or to stay with me and make me suffer. I have no clue as to what's going on in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 123

You deserved it 5 225

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 230

By msmidnight1965 - 22/09/2013 17:22 - Canada

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 856

You deserved it 4 884

msmidnight1965 tells us more.

msmidnight1965 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 23:27

We have those orthodontic ones that help with oral development. They also resemble the nipple during breast feeding.

By Aeroboss - 23/01/2010 06:40 - France

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 685

You deserved it 3 139

Aeroboss tells us more.

Aeroboss 8

Monday 8 February 2016 20:39

Hello guys! OP here. Did not think it would get posted. So, to add onto the story, my friend's wedding was postponed a week because we had a little rain and he wanted an outdoor wedding. My mom usually is a pretty wonderful woman, but she is still used to cleaning up after myself and my siblings, probably because my youngest has muscular dystrophy and can't walk. We ended up sorting it out with the company, who informed us they could send us a new one. To be honest, repairing the suit would have cost less than just renting another one. Anyway, thanks for listening to the rant. Bye.

By notthebesttime - 13/10/2012 12:04

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 855

You deserved it 3 737