Work: Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 50

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 992

04/05/2011 03:24

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 4 096

Our house, in the middle of our street

Late term

Beggars can be choosers

30/09/2011 10:18

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 11 718

19/04/2011 16:19

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 174

You deserved it 22 936

27/05/2012 13:20

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 204

You deserved it 2 609

22/10/2014 00:36

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 582

You deserved it 28 187

27/12/2010 00:45

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 456

You deserved it 37 330

11/07/2015 02:42

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 4 007

07/08/2011 08:08

Spicy

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 229

You deserved it 2 587

14/07/2011 16:24

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 4 142

08/01/2010 06:24

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 998

You deserved it 6 008

16/12/2015 02:21

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 676

You deserved it 1 650

02/05/2014 03:13

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 761

You deserved it 48 627

15/06/2011 00:59

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 7 992

I KNOW!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend mansplained to me that because Loki likes both boys and girls, he’s bi, not gay. I’m bi, and my boyfriend knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 188

10/07/2016 20:42

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 930

You deserved it 696

21/06/2014 02:48

Spicy

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 623

You deserved it 16 289

12/01/2010 03:40

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 676

You deserved it 4 245

10/10/2009 16:30

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 018

You deserved it 74 756

14/05/2013 16:48

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 573

You deserved it 3 903

01/08/2009 14:08

Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 786

You deserved it 13 882

18/11/2010 22:33

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 369

You deserved it 3 872

01/08/2010 20:24

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 486

You deserved it 78 407

27/05/2015 22:27

Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 2 275

14/11/2011 08:42

Today, my social-awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 968

You deserved it 4 974

18/08/2013 04:41

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 840

You deserved it 67 756

19/01/2013 01:32

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 138

You deserved it 3 810

07/11/2010 21:32

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 814

You deserved it 3 503

News to me

By Jean Chretien Lookalike - 23/04/2021 02:04

Today, I was looking at baby photos of me with my mom. I realized that I was making a funny face in some of them, particularly when smiling. I asked my mom if that was a silly face I used to like making. She replied, "Oh, honey no, you had Bell's Palsy until you were two." FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 69

14/09/2013 20:47

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 419

You deserved it 54 112

29/01/2009 00:33

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 429

You deserved it 3 110

15/01/2010 02:07

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 353

You deserved it 2 372

03/07/2012 01:20

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 821

You deserved it 5 671

Still holding a candle

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 22:00

Today, it's been two years since a club trip where I met someone who, for the first and last time in my life of crippling self hatred and depression, I actually believed might like me back. It's also been two years since I heard anything from him, despite him promising to keep in touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 168

10/07/2012 15:39

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 831

You deserved it 31 110

13/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was working on my laptop when the screen suddenly turned red. I was shocked since it's not that old, but my insurance just expired. On my way to the service I was thinking, "At least my car works!" Well... A few hours later, my car broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 164

09/11/2011 19:18

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 039

You deserved it 5 864

25/09/2013 23:22

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 3 506

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 19:59

Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 173

Murderer!

By Puppy_Killer - 16/12/2020 23:02

Today, I was backing out of my garage when my neighbour's collie ran behind my car. Unfortunately, I didn't see it, but I heard a thump. They were out, so I rushed him to the vet's. I was upset, and I guess I was driving too fast and didn't see that another dog was crossing the road. I killed two dogs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 387

04/10/2014 14:58

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 882

You deserved it 3 190

20/10/2018 11:30

Today, I emailed my boss to let her know I was uncomfortable working over what my university’s 28-hour policy allows. She demanded I work 40 hours this week. In any other job, I'd be fine, but if I work over 28 hours, the university will fire me. If I refuse to work 28 hours, my boss will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 221

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:53

why didnt you schedule the interview on.a.differeny.day. you should have known when your exam was.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:51

catch 22?

Comments

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:51

catch 22?

largefoofighter 0

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:12

good job with the scheduling genius

vyben 3

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:16

I'd pick the interview!

ydi_4_suking 20

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:20

fucked if you do fucked if you dont

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:25

damned if I do ya, damned if I don't :)

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:27

#19

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 10:28

Should've tried your luck at the interview.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 10:31

you're missing the easy solution, create a cloning machine (one that doesn't need stem cells, happy pro life?). then clone yourself so that one of you does the test whilst the other sets to work on a time machine. then once the time machine is done the clone goes back in time to go to the job interview. simple really I don't know why no one thought of it

liquidfireKAN 0

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 13:35

wont you're interviewer understand?

aquariusangel420 0

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 15:32

Ok y miss the interview when this is a once in a life time thing! But correct me if I'm wrong this is one of those times that work is more important then school?!? You don't need that stupid exam you really are an IDIOT

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 17:45

just tell ur teacher about the situation and he will prob understand and excuse the absence unless he is a complete ass and if not go anyways

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Thursday 5 May 2011 4:35

well couldnt u get an interview and have better chances of beating the other guys if u have the education required for the position?.

OceanBreathesSal 5

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Thursday 5 May 2011 5:10

74 I don't know about sixtimessix having better chances but OP might.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:51

Verily, this comment shall be thine first, as was mine "Your life sucks" vote. Indubitably.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:52

holy shit that sucks! FYL

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 11:08

you probably should of waited to apply, seeing how you havnt finshed the required courses in all.....

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 11:10

finished*^

staceysgenesis16 0

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Thursday 5 May 2011 1:10

thats a bad situation !!

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:52

Hope you can reschedule.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 14:42

I swear I've seen this FML before. This one has been posted before.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:52

ha rage. how about don't do either? I'd either way you won't get the job

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:53

why didnt you schedule the interview on.a.differeny.day. you should have known when your exam was.

WallyTheWombat 0

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 12:43

This is what I was wondering.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 16:29

most employers are fine with rescheduling around a school exam I don't understand why OP didn't ask for one or even state that time is not good for him I have a final exam at that exact time can we do it earlier in the day or the next day whichever is more convenient for you. OP needs to have more self confidence and man up!

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 19:45

right?!

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Friday 6 May 2011 3:14

I was thinking the exact same thing... don't you get the exam schedule at least like 2 weeks in advance??? YDI!

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Sunday 9 June 2013 6:40

agreed with all of the above. YDI

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:54

most recruiters will reschedule if you give them a valid reason. also why accept an interview time knowing it was your exam day?

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:02

Choose an option. Whatever it might be it will be better than smocking pot and dreaming that you did both of them at the same time.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:03

I hate it when I accidentally smock pot.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:26

smocking's no good. you should stop.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:47

Smo”c”king pot makes you the President of the USA. Ask Bill and Obama. To be fair on the other side; drinking beers have the same effect. Ask George.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:51

I choose smocking pot!! oh...wait, was that not one of the options...?

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:57

NOT, if you are making decision about your life. YES, if you are making decision about everybody else’s life.

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:02

I take the test if I were u..

raeka 1

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 9:03

reschedule...