The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By kindasortayeah - 05/10/2015 01:26 - United States - Purling

Today, one of my coworkers tried to convince me to be a model for his "foot fetish parties". I politely declined, just as I had the day before, and the day before that. This will probably continue every day, since our schedules are nearly identical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 200

You deserved it 1 713

kindasortayeah tells us more.

kindasortayeah 25

Monday 5 October 2015 17:03

No, he hasn't seen my feet. I found out he actually has asked nearly every person in the store because he hosts private foot fetish parties for clients. Part of me actually pities the man because he's just trying to make extra money, but I would never ever consider being part of those parties.

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 258

By crappingrapping - 21/05/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 219

You deserved it 43 847

By Rohirus - 07/06/2012 23:09 - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 560

You deserved it 2 566

There there

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 10:00

Today, my husband came home mid-day and told me he could never EVER go back to our local Starbucks. A fart had gone wrong. Horrifically wrong. On a day he wore shorts. Have you ever had to hold in laughter while comforting someone having an existential crisis? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 158

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 665

You deserved it 5 555

By ohman - 02/10/2010 06:28 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 5 864

By Sunshine56 - 10/11/2016 03:11 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, I sold cigarettes to a woman who promptly told me that she smoked meth. It's only my second night working this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 538

You deserved it 780

By blocked - 29/05/2012 22:24 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 645

You deserved it 4 929

Estranged

By assdialed. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my dad, who I haven't heard from in months. I didn't answer, but he did leave me an accidental voicemail, saying, "Oh shit, I didn't mean to call her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 373

You deserved it 2 712

Uber Thiefs

By lukey101 - 11/03/2021 17:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my Uber passenger stole one of the rear floor mats out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 99

Makes sense

By lovegame - 28/06/2014 15:48 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 070

You deserved it 26 979

Eyebleach

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 2 603

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:06

Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 133

By Lily - 02/09/2015 10:09 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 954

You deserved it 1 554

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 770

You deserved it 13 054

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 13:31 - United States

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 390

You deserved it 3 099

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 721

You deserved it 11 012

By freylero - 27/10/2009 19:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 655

You deserved it 5 249

freylero tells us more.

freylero 5

Wednesday 28 October 2009 11:55

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

By gorillalove - 11/09/2010 19:25 - United States

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 335

You deserved it 10 576