By lukey101 - 12/3/2021 02:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Uber Thiefs

Today, my Uber passenger stole one of the rear floor mats out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

982

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Work

Transportation

Cars

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Walk on the wild side

Rock, hard place

By I'mnotsmarttheothersarestupid - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had to reply to my boss's comments to a 50+ page document. Every second comment could be answered by, "See the sentence above/below" because apparently someone has problems with his short term memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4810

You deserved it

351

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36621

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6385

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By [...] - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57918

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8217

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By Anonymous

Today, I hit a new low in my diet. There was a danish sitting on the table in the break room at work, and I wanted it. At the end of day, one of the guys threw it into the dumpster. Guess who just ate a dumpster danish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2443

You deserved it

5418

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By destiny147 - United Kingdom

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37856

You deserved it

19502

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By Anonymous - United States - Richardson

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30940

You deserved it

3274

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By crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21450

You deserved it

38723

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By Anonymous - United States - Missoula

Today, I found out that I was misdiagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago and instead have bipolar disorder. For the last 10 years I have been taking meds that helped me focus on my manic / depressive state. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2888

You deserved it

161

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By smalls727

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat urine and moving further away from the other person. Only to get in my car and realize my cat peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9588

You deserved it

2341

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By notapedobear

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33168

You deserved it

3265

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By Animeislyfe - United States - Stockbridge

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20106

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7571

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42903

You deserved it

9288

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By anonymous - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11785

You deserved it

885

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By Jackie Campbell - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33290

You deserved it

6102

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By JustSom - United States - Falls Church

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

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29355

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3074

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By alicia75 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

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39015

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3540

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By karmaiguess

Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2310

You deserved it

5037

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By divingconfidence - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41480

You deserved it

4734

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By ohdang - United States

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43263

You deserved it

12836

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By mariah_1_11 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13219

You deserved it

41164

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By john doe - United States - Portland

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52854

You deserved it

6171

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By Beth - United States - Raleigh

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56755

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11726

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By Anonymous - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brothers room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand, FML

I agree, your life sucks

7373

You deserved it

1542

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By angry - Australia

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36396

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By Anonymous

recoils in horror

Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6549

You deserved it

835

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By LifeLikeLemons - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got rear-ended trying to move off the road because I heard a police siren. It was the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8400

You deserved it

2445

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By dumpedattheclub - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

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66858

You deserved it

7241

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By NotMacklemore - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36470

You deserved it

3082

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By CM112 - South Africa

OK, now that's gross

Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

860

You deserved it

1169

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By eggonmiface

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3347

You deserved it

476

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By explodingpupppet - United States

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17509

You deserved it

36834

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By worker666 - United States

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43820

You deserved it

4230

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By Scaryman - United States

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35192

You deserved it

4148

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By I hate Walmart???? - United States - Greensboro

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17887

You deserved it

41527

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27470

You deserved it

8642

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By 3Airwalk3 - Canada

Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7954

You deserved it

35976

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By anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

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26798

You deserved it

2607

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By wasntme - 10/5/2020 08:00

Pay up

Today, I got a bill for $62.70 because my company gave my last work car to some idiot who doesn't like to pay the toll road fees. They never took me off the registration. FML

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1581

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By no car - 4/8/2020 17:04

Car Wars

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1907

You deserved it

350

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By Spanner

Today, I realized why a female colleague keeps asking me if I'm high when I'm not. All I'm thinking when I see her is how glad I am to see her. Dilated pupils, flushed face, stupid grin on my face? I'm not high. I'm in love with her. She's married. Oh, and she wants to be my roommate for a year. FML

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2386

You deserved it

508

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Top comments

By ahabsfan | 14

#7977747 - Thursday 11 March 2021 20:54

I can’t believe they Lyfted one of your floor mats.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7977703 - Thursday 11 March 2021 17:10

That will cost him a few stars!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7977703 - Thursday 11 March 2021 17:10

That will cost him a few stars!

By ahabsfan | 14

#7977747 - Thursday 11 March 2021 20:54

I can’t believe they Lyfted one of your floor mats.

By cacheson | 41

#7978708 - Monday 15 March 2021 18:38

See if you can have the company charge them for it?

Uber Thiefs

*recoils in horror*

OK, now that's gross

Pay up

Car Wars

recoils in horror