Uber Thiefs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

Don't look back

Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML

Oddly specific thief

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

Messy

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

Sit on it?

Today, someone stole the seat off my bike. Just the seat. What the hell are they going to do with it? FML