Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML
Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, trying to get to know the cute new barista. I wanted to compliment his nice eyes, but I got nervous and blurted out, "You have nice elbows!" He stared at me, confused, as I quickly grabbed my coffee and left. Now I can't even imagine going back there. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
Today, I went to meet a potential client at Starbucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other Starbucks. FML
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Top comments
DealerCamel 2
Well, don't speak your mind to strangers, then, I guess.
Ninjahippy 0
Meh? At least he got some honest customer feedback.
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Comments (117)
DealerCamel 2
Well, don't speak your mind to strangers, then, I guess.
My2864 1
when you said coffee shop i honestly thought you were going to get some weed >.< its probably a dutch thing..
LoosechangeX 0
Hey 97 what does that have to do with anything the 1st poster said. Dick.
Josk95 0
what does it matter? why are you making a big deal about it? and I also thought she was getting some weed, so it is a Dutch thing
spacedragon 4
Speaking your mind to strangers is fine if you're not an asshole
munchly 17
I speak my mind to everyone ... Maybe the owner will fix the coffee problem then! If you knew who he was OP you would have sugar coated the truth :P
Ninjahippy 0
Meh? At least he got some honest customer feedback.
The_Big_Mac 7
agreed
comment11111 39
That way the owner received valuable feedback.
HairyPunisher 27
Totes agree!
shehzeenahmed 0
starbucks is overrated
ZleveL 0
but lemon loaf isn't 8^P
HackerD00d 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
starbucks is awsome!
hollowranger81 4
Hipster
xxyumtasticxx 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
tsk tsk that is for being to much in a rush/lazy to wait in line for starbucks.. like number 2 said maybe you should not speak your mind to random strangers.. and try thinking before you speak, trust me it might come in handy.
fenner_fml 0
well maybe he should take the hint and start making better coffee
kwbuzz23wk 0
thats what you get for being obsessed with coffee. starbucks is taking over the world... atleast you did not choose them
Ultimate_Batman 28
wtf is wrong with you?
ilikerainbows 0
You totally deserved it for liking Starbucks. And for not patronizing a locally owned shop instead. And for being a douchebag.
nonayyme 0
starbucks kicks major ass. i'd wait in line there anyday.
ru4real 0
If the coffee is good enough to drink then you shouldn't be telling anyone that works there that it's crap. YDI If you're going to be a little bitch about it though, it's hardly a FML. Maybe he can make it better now!
KamiKaze_Nation 0
How could this person have known the guy was the owner? I agree, your life is F*****