By Grindyloo - 05/05/2012 10:06

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 316
You deserved it 2 812

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Be like a flower and chuck fire at her

Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.

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Be like a flower and chuck fire at her

That's sick that he/she did that. She needs to learn some respect.

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Which is why you teach him. By being Bowser and spitting fire at him.

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Nephews are (him) not (her)

"nephew" so it's a He. It would be helpful if you re-read the FML, then commented. As it says that he is also just 5 years old! How is he supposed to know that it's wrong? Use your brain please.

Nephews are (he) only, it's nieces that are (her)

I was referring to the fire reference

This was for #6.

nephew does not mean girl

20- my neighbors have a five year old. Actually the people across the street do too. Both of them have enough common sense not to jump on/harm any pets. So my opinion is that he knew, he's just a trouble maker.

47- Yeah! Little kids get away with stuff all the time just because they're little, and I agree that we shouldn't be too harsh on them, but they do know right from wrong most of the time. Not all kids are inocent little angels... Some of them are actually really mean :|

@58 - *most This really is unforgivable. That kid shouldn't be allowed to play video games for years, because he is either totally incapable of discerning reality from fiction or so callous towards pets/animals that he needs to take it where it really hurts to be made to understand that what he did was absolutely unforgivable.

5 years old is ABSOLUTELY old enough to know that jumping on living things is wrong. His parents should be ashamed.

Actually, most serial killers start off torturing, killing, dismembering, and dissecting strays and pets. If I were the parent, I'd keep an eye out for more dead animals in the coming months. Not set in stone, but it is a red flag that he didn't see anything wrong in doing what he did, and he may have enjoyed it, or the attention afterward.

I just asked my 5 year old sister if she would ever jump on a turtle and this is her response: "No! Why would I do that? You can't jump on turtles." Five year olds know better.

SHUT DA FUCK UP.

At least it wasn't like Mario cart and threw the turtle

Nephew, niece whatever, this 5 year old had serious issues and should get them checked out. Kids that kill animals can = adults who kill people

Looking at this thread, i find it funny how conversations evolve :b

Those who say 'they didn't know better, it's not their fault' should never have kids. This is why kids are little brats. No one gets mad at them and if the kids really do do something wrong, the parents will blame someone else. And probably sue.

I can't believe people are suggesting this kid could turn out to be a murderer for jumping on a turtle! Yes it's awful, but Im sure he didn't realise he was going to kill the poor thing! Kids do stupid things all the time and this is just another stupid thing that I'm sure he was very upset and sorry about. You guys seriously need to calm down!

Turn out to be a murderer? He already is a murderer. He murdered a poor turtle

Actually, he probably WAS trying to kill it. I mean, in Mario, why do you jump on koopa in the first place? Oh yeah, TO KILL THEM.

LOL!!! I played that game today. Gotta lub Mario Bros. sorry OP.

I believ OP said 'her' referring to the turtle. not his nephew.

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And what kind of bitches does he have? None..

Don't forget all the toadettes out there. Ohh, toadette, you are so sexy.

Aw that's so cruel! Why couldn't he grow a moustache and be a plumber like Mario!

Because 5 year olds don't grow mustaches

52- i was born with a mustache

Shoulda threw the shell at him and been like " now I'm Mario and you're the bad guy"

Mario, kicking koopa troop's ass since 5.

You gotta start somewhere.

Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.

Teenage mutant ninja tortoise! I love that show!!

Also an alien.

little kids do stupid things all the time, the important thing is that noone got hurt... wait...

8-FAIL 90-FAIL Wait.. Actually yeah that was a FAIL

The important thing is that nobody copied your sentence structure in a failed attempt to be funny. ...wait...

RIP, Koopa Troopa.

stevenJB 25

Sad day! :(

I think you should take the kid out Maude a bit more often, without turtles or mushrooms

I assume you mean Mario Balotelli, stomping recklessly at people

I got your joke haha, I'm sure a lot of people here don't watch soccer

10 - And I assume you mean Mario Batali, showing Food Network viewers how to make a delicious turtle soup.

Oops, that should say 11 not 10.

He wanted to save the princess XD