Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Eyebleach

Eyebleach

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 487

You deserved it 2 600

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Same thing different taste

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 4 796

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 045

You deserved it 9 021

By isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 343

You deserved it 3 258

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 614

You deserved it 7 233

HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 953

You deserved it 5 944

Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 253

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 257

You deserved it 5 021

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 3 316

By ... - 18/02/2018 01:30

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 5 629

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 577

You deserved it 11 473

andrewms 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:12

you know you liked it

picturetaker 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:23

hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.

Comments

andrewms 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:12

you know you liked it

Austinsnyder601 1

Monday 2 November 2009 9:27

YDI for having your mom on your cell phone Also just do "Nah I'ma just stick it in"

holeinchest 0

Monday 21 June 2010 4:53

I LIKE POTATOES!!!

ifmlftw 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:29

u should have said "that sounds good. time and place." lmao

chocolatewhite 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:34

cool story bro

picturetaker 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:23

hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.

PainInTheAsss 16

Saturday 2 July 2016 14:10

A bit?

XtommyschickX 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:29

haha wow imagine how embaressed she'll be

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:34

MILF!

perdix 29

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:17

Tell her you're going to do the same stuff to Dad.

unomo 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 22:44

lol!!!

goldenone 2

Thursday 29 July 2010 9:28

ha. I love you perdix

Sindy_fml 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:24

LOL awkwardness!!! fyl ><

teriwhale 4

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:34

: ( that's so awkward

perdix 29

Sunday 1 November 2009 13:35

She's going to know what you are doing just under her boyfriend. Contact list, my ass!

carolina776 1

Sunday 1 November 2009 14:40

oh. yum.

Wlollpop 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 15:22

fail

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Customers Fat Bodyshaming Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 110

Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 209

The Top

Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 103

You deserved it 1 580

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walked over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar, along with a note that said "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 437

You deserved it 1 520

Today, after our flight got cancelled back home, I called the airline to work out a replacement flight. I sat in hold for 2 hours waiting as patiently as I could. Then, the automated voice says, "There are no available agents. Good bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 194

You deserved it 1 672

Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 174

Today, I washed all the dishes that had been piling in the sink over the week, and set them in the drying rack before I left for school. I came home to see that my dad’s girlfriend had put them back into the sink, along with her dirty dishes. She told me to re-wash them. Why? “They didn’t smell clean.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 123

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 830

You deserved it 3 843