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First off, yeah I was a bit pissed (cause, well, I was pretty excited..) but we do prank each other all the time so I'm laughing about it. Don't worry, I'll get my revenge! Also, its not because she is jealous/into me- like I said, we prank each other, and as for my roommate being in her underwear thats not unusual, we both do it and she is very free with her body. Personally I think its great she is so confident, which I respect (since it's made bloody hard for women these days). As for the lot of you who were like '**** her, she owes you' thats kinda sick. You don't 'owe' someone sex for anything, especially not a prank. However she really can't complain if I scare off her next date! Revenge prank ideas are welcome, I'm thinking chilli in her cereal for starters..

By sadgirlhours - 26/08/2019 19:01 - United States - Gulfport

Today, I tried plugging in my Gatorade bottle with a charging cable instead of my phone. I couldn't tell if the reason was because I was high, or I'm just really that fucking stupid. FML

agreeclassic 576

vote type 1 1 871

I'm outta here

By Goober - 20/09/2017 14:30

Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML

agreeclassic 3 206

vote type 1 653

By wondercat40 - 24/04/2014 21:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

agreeclassic 45 644

vote type 1 8 901

wondercat40 app_comment_confession_title

wondercat40 28

Saturday 26 April 2014 21:26

He just stared blankly at me as I ran off, and that's definitely not a good sign of anything! I see him at my band classes, but I haven't spoken to him since. Thank you for the comments, a lot of them made me laugh. I don't know the where the Jesus drummer's band came from either, it was a local band that I forgot the name of. However, I think it was a Christian band. Oh, the irony.

By fuckingcool - 18/08/2016 21:19 - United States - Farmington

Today, while at a baseball game, I was telling my friends about my underaged drinking experience at my sister's bachelorette party. It wasn't until I was done telling the story that I realized the Dean of my college was right behind us, looking right at me. So much for a good first impression. FML

agreeclassic 8 434

vote type 1 10 387

fuckingcool app_comment_confession_title

fuckingcool 10

Monday 22 August 2016 19:05

I never claimed that I was "cool" for drinking and I wasn't bragging only telling my friends about a fun experience I had celebrating my sisters engagement. I had gotten into a 21 and up club and I only brought it up because they had been sharing similar experiences that they had. Hop off your high horse and don't shame me for drinking underaged when people in Europe start drinking by age 16 the latest, I was 18. I didn't drive, I didn't get sloppy or make out with any strangers. I just had a fun night of dancing and some drinks with my sisters and her friends. Arrest me!

Hey you!

By Noah - 16/08/2016 18:43 - United States - South Haven

Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML

agreeclassic 13 745

vote type 1 2 924

By Broken - 03/08/2010 12:11 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

agreeclassic 81 235

vote type 1 4 739

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 16:45

Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML

agreeclassic 14 371

vote type 1 1 112

By Jonnygiant - 14/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

agreeclassic 26 278

vote type 1 70 140

By Anonymous - 18/07/2016 05:29

Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML

agreeclassic 11 034

vote type 1 2 072

By Bestbirthday - 12/07/2016 01:04 - United States - Bastrop

Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML

agreeclassic 15 211

vote type 1 866

By damngotkik - 20/12/2017 19:00

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML

agreeclassic 4 845

vote type 1 390

By Phobia - 29/12/2017 15:00

Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

agreeclassic 4 073

vote type 1 313

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

agreeclassic 21 567

vote type 1 60 011

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 16:16 - United States - Bell

Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML

agreeclassic 18 151

vote type 1 1 674

By BrokeAsHeck - 23/03/2018 15:00

Today, for the second time in a year, I am a victim of bank fraud. All my money was in there, and I move today. FML

agreeclassic 4 391

vote type 1 330

By soccerswim20 - 19/05/2016 00:46 - United States - Coatesville

Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML

agreeclassic 15 807

vote type 1 854

soccerswim20 app_comment_confession_title

soccerswim20 2

Friday 20 May 2016 13:40

Yes, we did all get to retake the exam. Our principal called the College Board and told them what happened, and they said we could either skip the section in the now sealed book wait until the next testing date. We decided to wait and took a different version of the test. And the second time our school counselor proctored so there were no problems! So moral of the story, if something the test proctor is telling you seems wrong, SPEAK UP.