Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
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Top comments
LuminousKing 7
I guess he's the pedobear
tootsie68 22
Someone needs a girlfriend!! Or a sex toy at least...
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Comments (104)
tootsie68 22
Someone needs a girlfriend!! Or a sex toy at least...
MisterMichael 9
Or a hand
theluckyones 10
Seems like he already has a sex toy..
silvercamaro 22
Sounds to me like he needs a lock not a toy.
zadie 6
Agreed! Now you don't have to worry about guessing on a Christmas present.
zadie 6
Agreed! Now you don't have to worry about guessing on a Christmas present.
LMFAOaMIGIT 3
Or a fleshlight
P374RD3D 9
^A fleshlight is a sex toy.
klovemachine 24
Doesn't matter had stuffed sex :D
EverestMelting 23
Fleshlight! Alien~
CaptainDoorknob 7
43 - And a cat is a feline. Captain Obvious strikes again!
MDTeddy 13
I would give Op a hug. She must be sad, but more mad at her brother.
IOmnomHard 10
Now show us on the bear where the bad man touched you...Wait...
that1chick7 0
31- he doesn't really need a lock considering it was his sister's room, not his. His sister is the one who needs the lock. Poor OP =(
Hyde_is_Back 4
Maybe by lock it was a metaphor for a girlfriend.
crystalxa 35
I hear the fleshlights work good! I also hear little brothers are always weird in that stage
LuminousKing 7
I guess he's the pedobear
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I lmao'd hard at this!!
flutter4 7
Good one :)
klovemachine 24
Ah yeah :)
WritingWrongs 8
I knew it. It just had to be done, didn't it? I knew someone was going to say it, the OP knew someone was going to say it, whoever is thumbing me down right now knew someone was going to say it. That damn pedo-bear meme... Creepy as hell.
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
I was waiting for this joke.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Violating how exactly
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Keep up!! He was dressing it in slutty clothing..
Rowdey 10
..probably told it Santa wasn't real.
sheethapins 13
~Holds out Rupert~ Ok, now let's see here. He touched him there... There... Here.... Oh god Rupert say it isn't so! Looks like he touched him ~sniffles~ there too. Rupert we don't have to talk about it until you're ready...
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Oh my
j_cat187 20
Aww, poor Teds gonna need counseling.
COOL__Coal 12
Good thing it wasn't a young teddy bear.
__Robin__x 6
Hopefully OP doesn't still use it..
Mearemoi 14
I... I don't even want to know.
AKGirlinSD 20
What I can tell you is that this is the third comment in a couple of weeks of a brother violating an expensive lotion bottle, donut and now a teddy bear. Are they all getting the same ideas from these FML posts?
manshack 8
My brother's friend did that to my teddy bear too. Except I didn't catch him in the act, I found out when I held a black light up to the mysterious hole that was cut in my bear -__-
Hiimhaileypotter 53
.... How did you figure out it was your brother's friend?
FuckYourProblems 6
Her brothers "friend."
manshack 8
My sister and I told my brother, and he busted him out, ha. Not much to tell about how I found out.
noncom 12
#8 You do realize that holding a blacklight up to something will not show semen on it, right? And I don't think your brothers friend would risk getting caught just so he could **** an old teddy bear.
CharresBarkrey 16
72 - Actually, semen has fluorescent molecules, which means it does glow under a blacklight. And 64 - It sounds like your brother did it and blamed his friend.
onlychildFTW 34
How would a teddy bear feel good for sex? I don't see how this would feel good at all.
ICastillo 25
Noooooo poor Ted!!
ICastillo 25
Your brother is a bastard what he has done to Ted cannot be undone!!!
accidentprone3 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
O.o omigawsh! O.o
Welshite 40
Actually, I would not recommend Omega Wash. They are last on my list of preferred dry-cleaning companies.
kittytub 12
I think there is something wrong with your eyes, sir/ma'am.
geko911 22
74- it was a joke if you hadn't noticed. Where is this world going if we need to write "(this was a joke/pun)" after each joke/pun we write on the Internet. 74, you need to find your long lost friend called humour.
MarisaCB 16
There is no way to unsee that... I'm so sorry.
perdix 31
Yes, there is a way. Think of your mom shaving your dad's balls. That will easily obliterate the brother-*******-the-teddy-bear image. Warning: the cure may be worse than the disease.
ICastillo 25
Its Lose-Lose situation. I bet OP wished the Neuralyzer (flashy makes you forget tool from Men In Black) was real right about now.