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Respect

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 15:00

Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 25/09/2012 22:35 - United States

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 253

You deserved it 3 053

What a headache

By heckinfrick - 08/10/2020 08:01

Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 266

By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 05:05 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 222

You deserved it 2 856

By izziegrl - 24/09/2012 18:21 - Mexico - Naucalpan

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 630

Don't drink and drive

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 10:00

Today, after 7 hours of driving, I begged my wife to take over for the last 3 hours. She pulled out a flask and took a long swig, then smirked at me. I drove the rest of the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 150

By not laughing anymore - 11/12/2014 19:55 - Netherlands - Egelshoek

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 801

You deserved it 6 479

Daddy! No!

By Brokemommy - 15/03/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I have to figure out how to explain to my 6 year-old daughter when she gets home from school that she won’t be having a birthday party anymore, because she caught daddy having it off with the babysitter, and now we have nowhere to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 347

Appropriate attire required

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was feeling good about it, until I realized that I'd forgotten my workout clothes and was wearing jeans. As I attempted to do squats in my tight jeans, I split them down the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 1 049

By Anonomous - 08/12/2014 17:58 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 939

You deserved it 3 903

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 211

You deserved it 8 193

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 4 304

Messed up

By mee - 10/10/2020 05:01

Today, I started new meds because I’ve been emotionally numb since I was 14. I never learned how to manage real feelings and I’m on a rollercoaster that involves crying over nothing, feeling jealous of my husband’s Xbox, and getting angry at inanimate objects. Is there a return policy on this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 348

Unpaid

By Anonymous - 12/01/2022 10:59

Today, I informed my daughter-in-law that I’m a granny, not an unpaid, on-call 24/7 babysitter, and no, I will not be babysitting her kids all day so she can go to an all-day brunch with her similarly selfish girlfriends. She threw an actual tantrum and threatened to put me in a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 189

By Lucky - 21/06/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I'd entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 207

You deserved it 6 269

Sneakin' in a kitty

By Anonymous - 15/01/2022 08:02

Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 228

Drunk texts

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 06:00

Today, at around 2 a.m., I texted my crush that I liked him. He replied that he's in a relationship. I just felt a tight knot in my stomach and couldn't breathe for a few seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 966

Stealing the scene

By Silverfeathery - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 153

You deserved it 3 864

Another fine mess

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 04:44 - United States - Modesto

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 600

You deserved it 1 781

Tight

By Helmet - 20/10/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, I needed to buy a new crash helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 9 026

Disrespect

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 606

You deserved it 3 460

No chuds, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 20:01

Today, I found the Instagram account belonging to the guy I've been seeing. That's how I found out he's one of those nitwit asshole Proud Boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 424

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 148

You deserved it 4 803

So long, grandpa

By fcnk - 18/06/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 346

You deserved it 18 118

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By ProvenPoint - 27/03/2023 10:00

Today, while discussing difficulties in relationships, I cautiously suggested to my best friend that he may not have the healthiest way of resolving conflicts. He got angry at me for not understanding him but refused to tell where he felt misunderstood, then gave me the silent treatment. Way to prove a point, dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 115

By rileym797 - 17/06/2009 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 436

You deserved it 4 699

Dog Fail

By FML Videos - 13/11/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Living that clumsy life!

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 93

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 760

You deserved it 8 487

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 11:10 - United States

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 173

You deserved it 30 584

Who does that?

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 00:00

Today, my son got angry when he came out as gay and my husband and I told him that we loved him no matter what. Turned out he wanted us to reject him so he could have a sob story and make people feel sorry for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 86

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The Top

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 232

You deserved it 8 686

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 130 386

Random

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 184

You deserved it 4 898

Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 112

You deserved it 18 152

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 1 041

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 109

Today, all other moms I know have cute stories about their husbands panicking during the birth. Not me, mine flew to Vegas the week I was due and solicited an undercover female officer. He’s not held the baby yet, he’s still in jail for resisting arrest and contempt of court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 209

Today, my ass of a husband to be stood me up at the altar. He embarrassed me in front of everyone. It was humiliating. All because apparently he’s now not OK with the mistake I made. Yes, I slept with your father, but don’t say you forgive me then leave me crying in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 2 655