The Top

He was playing eve-online and he had his speakers on listening in the background what other people were saying. Then one of them called out his in game name and thats when it happened. He did come back and finish though.

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 04:59 - Australia

Today, after growing up in abusive homes most of my life until last year, I'm finally the happiest I could be and I'm getting all the help I need and achieving my dreams. I feel genuinely happy, yet I still want to end it. I've asked doctors for meds but they want me to see a psychiatrist first. The waiting list is more than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 112

All natural glow

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I made a homemade face mask with turmeric, honey, lemon, and a few other organic ingredients. I let the mixture sit, then washed it off. It stained my face so bright yellow I look like I’m either suffering from a terrible case of jaundice or auditing for a live action Simpson’s movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 564

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 3 699

Debate bro

By Fuck Trump. - 03/05/2021 14:01

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 577

Alexa, play "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 05:00

Today, a super cute girl at college approached me and I thought all my Christmases had come at once, until she said, “Do you realise someone has written 'Tiny Penis' on your forehead in black marker?” It must have been my brother while I was asleep last night. I’d been at college 4 hours FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 248

Bad romance

By Carloly - 14/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, a guy I’ve been dating for a while surprised me with tickets to see my favorite singer, Lady Gaga, for my birthday. I was about to tell him I can’t see him anymore because I fell for someone else at work, and it wouldn’t be fair to string him along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 060

You deserved it 4 335

Cheats, cheats everwhere

By bbbblt - 15/08/2010 11:39 - Australia

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 022

You deserved it 3 861

Alternative

By never date activists - 24/10/2023 02:00

Today, my girlfriend has such a bad ear infection that she's leaking yellow pus, but she still refuses antibiotics, calling them "white man's poison" and insisting that "indigenous healing" will cure her. This translates to listening to drum music and dancing, then vomiting everywhere because her balance is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 191

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Cats Cooking Love Nice Guys Money Instagram Politics Awkward Social Media Health Poopoo peepee Food Weekend Relatable Doctor Work Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Friends Parents Video games Jealousy Liar My ex Intimacy NSFW Art Crush

The Top

Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 897

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 956

You deserved it 150 199

Random

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 719

You deserved it 3 955

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 29 430

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 769

You deserved it 250 953

Today, my professor stated that every student who had perfect attendance would be exempt from taking the final. Having perfect attendance so far, I was thrilled. Then come to find out I have jury duty the day before the exam; she won't excuse my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 147

Today, my son waited until the night before he had a presentation on Arkansas due to tell me about it. We (meaning me, alone) stayed up until 3 am making a topographical map of the state out of plaster and drywall. At 8 a.m., a half hour after he got on the bus, I found it laying on his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 1 667

Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 128