Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
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Top comments
airborn54 0
Dear God I hope there was not a threesome
LemonStarship 5
D: That face says it all.
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Comments (137)
airborn54 0
Dear God I hope there was not a threesome
Bakayarou_fml 0
That's one desperate girraffe!
LunaNstars 0
i don't even wanna know why they didn't notice her in the morning. Hopefully they're just heavy sleepers...
LunaNstars 0
*till the morning
Agiggleaday 0
Good luck at breakfast.
SuperCassie 0
cool mom ya got there. lol
Garytt 0
enough threesome jokes damn it
bluekid7 5
take a good look op, this could be your future
lerouxmaster 7
At least she was not naked !
unvmesucka 0
Was she bald or did she have a racing stripe?
sxe_beast 11
That's hot.
eyez_lay_low1921 0
bet that was awkward....
b_rowe55 0
huh
chrispyy21 0
did yaw nock her socks off den buss off? i wulda KEKEKEKEKE..
bubble25_fml 5
at least u know she didn't have cold feet
6joe9 0
maybe your husband was doing her
ThanksKarma 0
Did the drapes match the carpet?
ymonkey96 0
kinky
Sippin_koolaid 0
Looks like someone needs a new couch
FrostyBby 0
I would be scarred..
BossDavyy 0
I would've drawn on her face...
kruzito 0
OP should have given her a spanking
Agiggleaday 0
That's gross, its OP's mom.
MrSassypants 34
28 or draw on something else...
LemonStarship 5
D: That face says it all.
alazae 0
lol
Jojo08_fml 0
Hahah lemon that's a pretty sweet picture(:
BADDiam 4
you mean ur screen picture xD
dixieboo 0
erm....that's....disturbing
DrDreTheChronic 0
hangover?
doom2 8
well, that must have been awkward when she woke up.
enonymous 9
Not if you don't let it be. Just go free balling and make sure there are only finger foods around for dinner
BigOrca 2
it would be awkward. it is awkward when I am around my mom when she is wearing her moo moo.
baseballstuf52 0
6- how did a girl like you come up with a name like that?
aRandomAccount 5
what name? cant find that post
dtbomb 3
Sorry I told her to put cloths back on after we were done.
ZAE06 0
hit her in the ****
TalkinSmack 6
I'm to sexy for my shirt, to sexy for my shirt... so sexy it huuuurts....
MommaMuff 6
It should be "too" not "to."
PlasmaVirus 4
The period goes after the quotes since the period is not part of the quote.
Muffinzz11 7
nope it goes between
TalkinSmack 6
pardon me, grammar Nazi! lol
Person1233 13
At least you didn't find out that your mother is actually a man.
MrSexyPants 14
D: I will have this face all day because of that comment. I still liked it :D
Prolusive 5
Silver lining around the cloud :)
Overseer211 1
is it just me or do I see half these fmls on tv shows?