Love, Health and Awkward: Alexa, play "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips

Alexa, play "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 05:00

Today, a super cute girl at college approached me and I thought all my Christmases had come at once, until she said, “Do you realise someone has written 'Tiny Penis' on your forehead in black marker?” It must have been my brother while I was asleep last night. I’d been at college 4 hours FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 222

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Same thing different taste

By GeneralElement - 19/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 3 654

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 145

Suave

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 872

You deserved it 47 841

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 723

You deserved it 32 627

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 2 042

By ~~~ - 29/06/2014 17:08 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 545

You deserved it 4 334

Terrible prank

By Malakai - 02/02/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 843

You deserved it 8 473

By Good 2 have friends. - 28/12/2010 18:04 - United States

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 183

You deserved it 26 817

By Fingkids - 25/09/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 301

You deserved it 33 873

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 39 015

whatshername?! 39

Sunday 22 October 2023 8:16

So you should take a look in the mirror sometimes. A good time would be in the morning, where regular people wash their faces and brush their teeth. Or maybe when you comb your hair. Then you would have noticed something like this.

AstroTurf Matador_602345635 7

Sunday 22 October 2023 11:12

To quote Ross from "Friends", who was quoting a student of his: "Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"

Comments

whatshername?! 39

Sunday 22 October 2023 8:16

AstroTurf Matador_602345635 7

Sunday 22 October 2023 11:12

To quote Ross from "Friends", who was quoting a student of his: "Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 22 October 2023 11:54

If that were a lie, you should have whipped out your non-tiny penis to show her the truth. You can't have a pretty girl spreading false rumors about you at a new place.

HouseOfM 8

Sunday 22 October 2023 20:21

If that's your reaction to anyone remotely attractive approaching what are you doing? The fact that you react to that way is probably. Is probably a good indication that you need some help of some kind. That kind of reaction can be a huge turn off for women.