You seem like you're talking from experience...?

...and that is the reason why I always keep napkins in my pocket.

Wow.. it must sock to be you

No. How would op masturbate later

With the other sock, of course..

That's disgusting

Man the comments really suck today.

Suck...or sock??

No

You could take the stealth way and crawl out for some paper towels. Just imagine you're a secret agent trying not to get seen as you smuggle the automatic asswiper from the nazis back to an American base.

Really?! How many public bathrooms have SEAT PROTECTORS?!

Quite a few, but mostly at rest stops, au bon pain, and airports. The cleaner the bathroom is, the more likely you are to find seat covers.

If there is no toilet paper chances are there are no seat covers

Most places will put seat protecters in female restrooms It's rare there's any in the male's restroom

That is not true if it's in the women's it's in the men's

I've had to use a seat protector when there was no TP left in a public bathroom. They have seat covers pretty much every public place I go to, including my school and a church.

I bet in a few months (or less), "shit out of luck" will be the new "sounds like a shitty situation" aka THE pun to downvote.

Don't you mean "your shit's out of luck"? Because OP's shit was definitely out of luck on this one.

Beat me to it.

Op'll be fine, sure he may lose one perfectly good sock, but hey, it's all good. He's still got the other one to masturbate in.

I bet you run out of socks quickly...

btw OP don't you put toilette paper on your seat before going? Thousands of asses have sat on those seats and you don't know what bacteria and germs are thriving on it.

You do not need to put toilet paper on the seats. It's safe without it.

you must like sitting on urine and toilet water residue.

This one episode of Mythbusters showed them trying to culture bacteria off of a public toilet seat... They couldn't because even unwashed, the toilet seat was fairly clean. I guess most people have antibacterial asscheeks.

I've seen toilet seats with drops of urine and blood (most likely from periods) so regardless, I'll still put toilet paper.

Wonder how bad the bottom of the seat would be...

That blood isn't from periods, it's from your friendly neighborhood junkie! And he's leaving you a present, that present is called.. Hepatitis!

So it's #24's fault there's no toilet paper left to wipe your ass with.

54 learn to make sense or better jokes.

I always put toilet paper down whether I see per on the seat or not.... then again I'm a bit of a germaphobe

I'm one of those shitters who stand on the back of the toilet and shit horizontally on the wall. Then I "drop it like it is hot" and wiggle my bum up and down. No.. I don't do that, but that's what I imagine when I see someone else's shit all over the stall.

I always put paper down on the seat if there isnt any seat protectors. There is usually always pee on the seat that I dont see but I do notice the paper soaking it up. Then again Im always the type to wash my hands for like two minutes after and open the door with my feet.

Then again, when you gotta go, you gotta go

#37- so you just go & worry about how to whipe later?

Hey Thousand-Eyes, re-read the FML.

#57 - I think he means the guy on OP's other side, unless OP is In the end stall.

*plot twist* Theres only one stall.

Then That means the other guy is shitting in the...

..Urinal? ..Sink? Don't leave us in suspense like that #83!

Changing one word in that horribly overused bash-my-head-against-a-wall sentence does not make it okay.

That doesn't even make sense...

Goddamn it #19, you're violating the pact! Don't make us impose sanctions on you!!

You're new around here, aren't you ?

or he's from here and attempting to bring that bad pun back