By skizpow7 - 28/07/2010 16:53 - United States
skizpow7 tells us more.
It is my apartment, and we broke up mutually. she moved here from 50 miles away to live here and we'd been together two years. we just recently figured out that our relationship was great... right up until she moved in. we simply can't live together. and I'm not gonna kick her out, totally rude. she gave up her life in her town to come live here, I don't expect her to be able to up and leave. she's only been here a month and doesn't know anyone close and her parents live 4 states away. it'll just be super awkward. FML
By appropriatepolice - 16/01/2012 08:19 - United States
By gtrs750 - 09/08/2009 13:48 - Canada
By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France
By gimp. - 08/05/2009 08:28 - United States
By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States
By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 16:13 - United States - Chicago
By Michelle - 06/12/2014 03:35 - United States - Abingdon
By Anonymous - 19/04/2017 22:00
By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda
By . - 16/10/2013 21:05 - United States
By Citivolus - 11/05/2021 11:00 - United States
By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States
By Mrs. W. - 11/08/2015 00:32 - United States - Las Vegas
By GiWi - 18/11/2009 16:45 - Ireland
By JustShutUp - 27/07/2016 18:40
By InnocenceBlue - 01/08/2019 12:00
By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States
By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States
By rozziepop - 30/03/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia
By really - 26/03/2017 00:00
By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States
By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23
By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 18:00 - United Kingdom
By ALO - 21/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Bossier City
By KiwiBlam - 07/02/2010 09:19 - New Zealand
By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States
By Dani_Rich - 16/02/2009 06:52 - United States
By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 02:01
By ShittyKeys - 06/11/2009 08:57 - United States
By GshDrnt - 21/04/2011 02:57 - United States
By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States
By Katsura - 19/07/2016 00:43 - United States - Perrysburg
By JackSoda - 26/03/2020 17:01
By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale
By Elle - 23/02/2011 21:07 - United States
By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 06:36 - Australia - Sydney
By Mofisto - 15/02/2009 10:43 - United States
By sciencesadness - 08/02/2014 23:24 - United States - Lynnwood
By lax22 - 13/04/2014 20:33 - United States - San Francisco
By Godi - 10/12/2009 19:00 - United States
Add a comment - Reply to : #
It sucks that you guys weren't able to live together, and I really respect you for not kicking her out. I know how it is to not have anyone else to rely on other than my bf. Things will be awkward but since it sounds like the two of you didn't have a terrible nasty breakup and it was a mutual agreement then I don't think it will be too too awkward. Good luck to both of you.
No- at some point he must have made an explicit or implicit decision that she could live with him as a couple, and that (I'm guessing, since she has no job) he would support her. If he totally removed any incentive for her to earn her own money, then he bears at least a temporary responsibility to keep it up (if it is soley his flat, which he doesn't say). Before all the idiots pounce on this, he chose to date her and live with her. He also gave her a very short deadline to leave. All I'm suggesting is that he give her at least two weeks or a months grace to get back on her feet. Either that or not be such a silly douche and live with people he doesn't care about enough to help.
I've missed your sensible comments, letmeinplease. Letmeinplease is right, they made the decision to move in. And either the OP moved in with her knowing she had no job, or she's recently been made redundant/fired and so needs time to find another. So the OP does have some responsibility in how this ends. Also, they could both treat this like responsible and mature adults for the duration. Though I suppose it depends on why they broke up, but I'm guessing it's not a seriously horrible thing, otherwise that would be the FML not the fact that he still has to live with her...
No, if she planned on breaking up with him she should have made plans to find an apartment and a job ahead of time. She's decided that she doesn't want to go out with him anymore, that's fine, but she can't have it both ways. It's no longer the OP's responsibility to support her. She should have considered this before breaking up with him.
This reminds me of my parents. My mom was married to my dad for 23 years. They had two kids. But their marriage steadily declined. Anyway, she was furious. Hated him, in fact. But she knew she was going to leave. So she made him get a job. Not sure how, but she was so insistent, he did it. THEN she left. Granted, he kept the house, but he had to pay for it, so he would've been homeless had she not waited for him to get a job. My point is that when you tell someone (or imply) that you'll take care of them and support them, even if they are a rotten ass, you don't just kick them out with nothing. This is why alimony exists (even though it's abused 90% of the time by greedy, vengeful people.) Edit: And he could tell her that she owes him rent for the time she stays once she gets a job. They could even have that in writing.
Also in situations like these she's probably either on the lease, or if she has an ID and/or mail (bills etc) sent there there, she's technically a tenant and you cannot just kick a tenant out without 2-4 weeks of written notice otherwise she can sue you for improper/unlawful eviction.
technically he has no responsibility to take care for her anymore. she could have a job, but she doesnt. the fml implies it's his apartment. not hers! therefore since there not married, it doesn't matter what he told her or didn't tell her, whatever he pays for is his under canadian law unless there together for more than 10 years. I mention Canadian law because I'm from Canada but anyways, she's a dumb bitch for not preparing ahead and he's dumb for letting her play him unless he still thinks there's a chance they could get back together.
@turkey1_2_3 (#52) - That is the difference between moral and legal repsonsibility. Legally, if the gf was not on the lease then the OP has no repsonibility and can tell her to get out. However morally he should look at what could be expected of her to do and give her a chance to get back on her feet before she moves out. Just thought I'd point that out.
^^I was going to say that. It's the difference between being a douche and not being a douche were my terms though :D Depending of course on the reasons for breakup... If it's any consolation OP, you sound like a good guy- especially as you're giving up your imediate new free bachelor stage to let her stay in (presumably) your apartment.
Alot of states have conditions regarding shared domiciles. In Maryland, for instance, if a person is living in your home, whether they pay rent or not, they are allowed 30 days to find an alternative dwelling. All they need to prove this is that they have their mail delivered to the shared adress. Oh, and having to go through this myself, you legally cannot destroy their mail so you have to hold it and they are allowed to come and pick it up.
Been There... this is a rough situation. However it usually turns out in two ways so be prepared 1) you get back together after a while (it was a silly breakup anyway.. .a fight over soap or something) 2) You grow to detest one another... really not a good thing if you have to continue the situation for any length of time. good luck with this!