Work and Kids: But my babiiiiiiies!

But my babiiiiiiies!

By fmylifeee - 27/09/2019 04:00

Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 213

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 20/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 107

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 526

You deserved it 8 485

By Anonymous - 21/12/2017 01:30

Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 588

You deserved it 525

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 814

You deserved it 12 555

By kiwibox - 26/10/2013 01:50 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 083

You deserved it 7 139

Fussy eater

By germaphobe - 19/08/2021 20:59 - United States

Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 154

Wakey wakey

By Tanya - 30/05/2019 11:26

Today, I found shit smeared into the carpet and I wasn’t sure who to blame, the dog, the newborn baby or the 60-year-old alcoholic mother-in-law whose husband had finally thrown her out. I did eventually find her passed out drunk in my flower bed with shit all down her legs though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 155

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 3 722

MidnaLink 33

Friday 27 September 2019 4:05

She so ******* owes you, that ignorant bitch. You SPECIFICALLY said not to bring her toddlers over, and what does she do… she brings them. Nothing that happened with them and the dog is your fault at all, and she owes you for carpet cleaning. If she fires you, tell her to suck it.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 September 2019 6:30

You shouldn't quit your job just because your boss has shit kids. Perhaps her workplace is just as shitty as her children and this is a good excuse to part ways.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Friday 27 September 2019 4:05

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 September 2019 6:30

You shouldn't quit your job just because your boss has shit kids. Perhaps her workplace is just as shitty as her children and this is a good excuse to part ways.

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Friday 27 September 2019 11:40

well maybe she had no choice and had to bring them, next time ask for the raise at work

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 27 September 2019 14:39

Or the parents should've cancelled until they found a babysitter for another night. But still, the parents should've made sure that the kids didn't shat on the carpet. One doing so is an accident (pun intended); 2x is being irresponsible. Good luck, OP!

AmbrosiaFan 18

Monday 30 September 2019 14:32

YOUR house.. if they come with kids, don't allow them in. Tell them that you warned them plenty of times. I'd respect someone's wishes to not have my kid there. If I couldn't find a sitter I'd reschedule. Frankly the parent should have cleaned up their shit.