Health, Make up and Painful: Ouch! - FML

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 542

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Make up tutorial

By Bunni - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 002

You deserved it 30 433

Not now, honey

By rhya4n - 15/05/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 3 374

By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 569

You deserved it 13 916

New, from Goop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 685

You deserved it 3 937

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 8 973

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 136

You deserved it 403

Stressed out

By Jocelyn - 18/02/2019 12:00

Today, I got stressed and well, let's just say I got carried away, pulled off most of my eyelashes on one eye, and now I have to find falsies that look real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 1 792

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 240

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 774

You deserved it 35 108

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 292

Next

Top comments

Wadlaen 23

Friday 20 September 2019 7:28

Is this a new makeup-trick that I, as a man, haven't heard about..? And, did you get the look you were trying to get?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 September 2019 16:34

I'm pretty sure you're using it wrong. Consult the instructions on the package.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Friday 20 September 2019 7:28

Is this a new makeup-trick that I, as a man, haven't heard about..? And, did you get the look you were trying to get?

mssileas 25

Friday 20 September 2019 11:36

If you do it with liquid eyeliner, you can actually get all black demon eyes, including the screams of a million haunted souls cause that shit burns. Source: me, age 14

Yolanda Patrice Evans 17

Friday 20 September 2019 13:50

I know the pain 😩😭😭😭

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 September 2019 16:34

I'm pretty sure you're using it wrong. Consult the instructions on the package.

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 21 September 2019 2:03

There's instructions?! (Not just a long list of warnings....)

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Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

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Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 17 436

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I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 198

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 553

You deserved it 48 223

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 302

You deserved it 9 300

Today, I was home from college and went to eat at a local mexican place. The manager started yelling at me about an unpaid tab. Apparently, my dad likes to drink there and skipped on his tab. Again. FML

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You deserved it 315