The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 091

You deserved it 7 497

By smyp - 27/08/2015 08:23 - Lithuania

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he'd slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 721

You deserved it 1 617

By a little less poor at least - 21/04/2013 16:03 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 308

You deserved it 5 707

Etiquette

By FootFlakes - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 431

You deserved it 4 523

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 2 159

Tactical nuke

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 00:54 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 677

You deserved it 42 641

By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 15:47 - United States - Peachtree City

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 889

You deserved it 17 045

One simple trick!

By MisterT - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 892

You deserved it 7 543

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 478

By Katyness - 10/05/2016 20:20 - United Kingdom

Today, the canteen of the company I work for introduced a cash-less payment method to purchase food. To use it, employees must download the app, which is only available for iPhones. I have a BlackBerry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 027

You deserved it 3 319

By Mackdaddy - 07/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 9 083

By maxkeyftw - 17/10/2013 05:06 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 685

You deserved it 4 307

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 18:47 - Ireland

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 593

You deserved it 4 120

By queenofdeath - 16/01/2010 18:16 - Israel

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 12 353

By Anonymous - 03/12/2014 17:06 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 610

You deserved it 46 457

By octoberrain - 12/10/2011 15:41 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 489

You deserved it 3 667

By WTF? - 12/08/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 6 561

By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 055

You deserved it 3 202

By alexa - 08/12/2015 17:14 - Germany - N?rnberg

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 098

You deserved it 2 653

By SeriousJoker72 - 11/10/2014 01:17 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 828

You deserved it 3 522

SeriousJoker72 tells us more.

SeriousJoker72 18

Saturday 11 October 2014 19:09

Hahahahaha! Maybe I'll make that my Halloween costume!

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 337

You deserved it 3 890

By newyorkers - 17/06/2013 12:46 - United States - New York

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 962

You deserved it 5 678

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 04:14 - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 291

You deserved it 3 684

Weird interaction

By Yue - 23/11/2009 21:14 - Canada

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 2 633

Mowed down

By ThatsNotGrass - 10/08/2014 01:30 - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 22 527

By NoTattoo - 12/08/2015 17:50

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 411

You deserved it 2 456

Get back to work

By notbrowsingnow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status, saying, "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 013

You deserved it 52 441

By reb - 19/04/2014 17:25 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 478

You deserved it 4 192

Could you stop doing that, please?

By Scabs - 09/08/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 825

You deserved it 2 642

By Arcanin3Boss - 23/06/2015 06:37 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 383

You deserved it 6 040

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 115

You deserved it 46 251

Today, I got fired. There was a customer last night who showed up two minutes after our closing time, 11 p.m.. She knocked on the door many times, but I ignored her and kept sweeping the floor. She eventually left. Turns out she’s the VP’s daughter and told him I was “rude and inconsiderate” to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 221

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 550

You deserved it 3 543

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 605

You deserved it 32 289

Today, I tried impressing my colleagues by using fancy business jargon during a meeting. I ended up saying, "Let's synergize our ideation to maximize the bandwidth of our paradigm shift." Nobody had a clue what I meant, and me neither to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 316

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 886

You deserved it 2 504