By marriedtoatool - 26/12/2012 06:15 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 587
You deserved it 2 919

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No real man uses lotion. If a real man's skin gets dry, he moisturises with the blood of a rattlesnake. A rattlesnake he caught. With his teeth.

wow, that's almost like the woman that bought lingerie for herself, as her husbands gift, only to have her husband spazz. it goes both ways....

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I dont wanna know what for he uses it. But seems like no sex for him.

Maybe there was no sex for a while, thus the lotion

what does he use it on...

His body.

Nono, he uses it to moisturise his hair!

To rub his penismug ...

wow, that's almost like the woman that bought lingerie for herself, as her husbands gift, only to have her husband spazz. it goes both ways....

This is so true. I would say You Deserve It OP, but I honestly don't think you deserved the lotion if you weren't grateful. At least it's useful to you, as opposed to the lingerie.

I disagree. With the lingerie, the husband would get to see, touch, and experience his (lets hope) lovely wife while she wears it. There is mutual enjoyment in that. There is no mutual enjoyment in lotion, aside from maybe a weird lotion fetishist.

I enjoy the pleasant smell of lotion and gradually seeing my skin improve, especially in this winter season.

And I didn't miss that. Of course I know that he would "benefit" in that way. But it is technically not his material good. The lotion belongs to OP. That's my point.

lingerie is for the eyes of who looks. Lotion isn't doing anything for the one who doesn't use it

Although I agree I think the woman with lingerie got him something else too. it sucks OPs husband didn't put any thought it, she could always confront him if she's willing to have a bit of a spatt over it!

Hey that's a very special lotion!

That OP doesn't even use...

Are you the same one that got him lingerie, that only you could use? This is the revenge!xD

Maybe he was trying to convey some sentiment that you naively brushed off because you're a greedy bitch. ONLY HE uses that lotion.. He wants you to use it to because he considers he and you to be intertwined as one person.

The amount of stupidity in this post pains me. Theres no sentimental reason for the gift.

How do you know :3

How do we know this? The number of down votes tell us... What do they tell you?

I feel an overwhelming desire to slap the stupid out of you. Unfortunately I have an even-more overwhelming feeling that it wouldn't work.

Are you the husband, under a fake profile? :) Your gift for rantionalization is astounding!

What a cheap bastard. Or, ya know it could be implying something sexual.

That he's tired of... poking the porcupine.. with lotion?

'Poking the porcupine', Really? I mean, of all the possible slang you could have used.. - Jerking the gerkin - Flogging the log - Tossing I could go on..

I wanted to use two of the same first letters. If you got a problem with poking your porcupine you should be talking with doc, not me.

Both of you just need to stop -.-

He's sharing his special lotion with you. It's like he's opening up his entire world to you with one bottle of lotion. You should say thank you and then give him the special socks that only you wear.

Bitches get ashy during Christmas time. Therefore bitches get lotion during Christmas time?

I think it's time for you to return a few of his gifts then op. One of the best parts of Christmas is receiving a gift that you actually wanted. Your husband is mean but then again he might just be one of those people who aren't sure what to get so they buy something you already have that you're running low on. Sorry op, better luck next year.

You just summed up why every guy hates buying gifts for women across the planet.. But in the shittest way possible.. Try again when you read an FML about getting a vacuum or sandwich maker for Christmas.

I personally do not think that receiving is the best part of Christmas. Being with family and giving gifts is the best part. If OP isn't happy she should just talk to her husband about his motives for buying herself a gift that only he would use, then go from there. Who knows maybe it was a gag gift and the real gift is coming later.

He could've been following (a little too literally) the "buy the other person something you'd like to receive" suggestion that I know I've heard around the holidays.