Miscellaneous: Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would...

By whoops - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23321

You deserved it

60751

Favorite

Miscellaneous

BO Central

Empathy lives

So compassionate

By ThanksMom - United States

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks

104345

You deserved it

9156

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36195

You deserved it

3765

Favorite

By Dump Tump

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1698

You deserved it

158

Favorite

By fmlcops - United States

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67167

You deserved it

5436

Favorite

By Oh Cock - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25037

You deserved it

7889

Favorite

By rileycrash - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36641

You deserved it

6874

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I frantically chased a customer down the parking lot, because they had left their package at my register. Only to find out that the whole time I was chasing the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25478

You deserved it

4609

Favorite

By lizownsvirgy - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69063

You deserved it

5440

Favorite

By Jenna - United States

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32903

You deserved it

5591

Favorite

By greatdriver...4 - United States

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11829

You deserved it

26649

Favorite

By petlover - United States

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36913

You deserved it

3829

Favorite

By Are you f*cking kidding me - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63732

You deserved it

4524

Favorite

By Scoudrel - 26/2/2021 17:01

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

220

You deserved it

4424

Favorite

By Pissed - United States - Asheville

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12257

You deserved it

2920

Favorite

By xkal174 - United States

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

81217

You deserved it

4609

Favorite

By Axlgrows

Today, a friend admitted that the reason I got the nickname Axl is because I was an A cup with XL underwear. I guess I should be called Axxl now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9352

You deserved it

1611

Favorite

By mommy - United States - North Andover

The great replacement

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks

56120

You deserved it

5321

Favorite

By Karma

Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.

Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2626

You deserved it

7038

Favorite

By LP - United States - Madison

Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29526

You deserved it

2356

Favorite

By justmylife - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33635

You deserved it

3121

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36685

You deserved it

12038

Favorite

By comet5002 - United States

Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47737

You deserved it

5442

Favorite

By WhyICantHaveNiceThings

From the bottom of my... stomach?

Today, I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview someone I’ve greatly admired for years and grew up watching. I was naturally nervous, but I didn’t expect to be so nervous I would throw up on him in the first 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4053

You deserved it

445

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Foam Lake

We need to talk

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32446

You deserved it

2936

Favorite

By BagBoy - United States

Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43718

You deserved it

3021

Favorite

By Backtoschool

Today, while preparing to move into my dorm, I received two e-mails from the campus police. The first stated that there had been 76 overdoses from a synthetic drug reported around campus this week and the second said there had been a stabbing on campus this morning. Happy back to school to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2131

You deserved it

145

Favorite

By MouserMan - Canada - Olds

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38047

You deserved it

4270

Favorite

By Bree - United States

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40306

You deserved it

3151

Favorite

By Christinemh329 - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24672

You deserved it

2500

Favorite

By "ZeroG57"

Today my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement". Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4110

You deserved it

462

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Barrington

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47877

You deserved it

5651

Favorite

By stk - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up at 3am to catch my flight back home, only to realize that my flight was pushed back 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6631

You deserved it

474

Favorite

By Remy - 17/6/2021 16:01

Ad break

Today, I had the brilliant idea of scanning my PC in the afternoon, because Malwarebytes told me I might have malware and it's been running hot and slow lately. Five and a half hours later, the scan is 1.3% complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks

651

You deserved it

134

Favorite

By Anonymous

Fishing

Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1699

You deserved it

314

Favorite

By unloved - Australia

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36408

You deserved it

3039

Favorite

By notmarriedyet - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40722

You deserved it

16913

Favorite

By flipflap

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27209

You deserved it

7052

Favorite

By Anonymous - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

16795

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1376

Favorite

By Jobless - Malaysia

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60608

You deserved it

26495

Favorite

By foreverashamed - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33577

You deserved it

6800

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Snicket | 13

#5992554 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:22

Hulk miss, hulk mad, hulk sad.

By Demonface54 | 20

#5992546 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:21

In what universe was that a good idea?

COMMENTS

By FYLTHOUGH | 15

#5992542 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:19

clean it up then

cakefete2 | 30

#5992688 - Monday 30 June 2014 2:57

Agreed, and OP has no one to blame but himself. This is the definition of YDI.

Animekid126 | 13

#5993003 - Monday 30 June 2014 9:26

What do you think they did before they posted this? ....

By emily4040 | 18

#5992544 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:20

One question. Why?

jad0016 | 12

#5992575 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:26

You should leave the hulk smashing to the hulk

loooloool | 13

#5992576 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:26

Why not?

GentlemanBastard | 15

#5992594 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:32

15, I think the garbage everywhere is why not.

thexguyxnextdoor | 10

#5992741 - Monday 30 June 2014 4:23

Sometimes we just have to try to be a little bit of awesome. If he would have succeeded it would have been pretty cool.

dede1245 | 1

#5992773 - Monday 30 June 2014 4:52

One question. Why not?

By Demonface54 | 20

#5992546 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:21

In what universe was that a good idea?

steve31789 | 8

#5992595 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:32

In the marvel universe!!

thexguyxnextdoor | 10

#5992745 - Monday 30 June 2014 4:25

In a teenage male's universe it makes plenty of sense. (I'm guessing he is teenager, because it is something I would do)

By MandyMeow_fml | 18

#5992548 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:21

You must learn to control your hulk smash

By jgwyh | 18

#5992551 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:22

Calm down Bruce Banner

By Snicket | 13

#5992554 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:22

Hulk miss, hulk mad, hulk sad.

Rallred32 | 20

#5992616 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:52

I mean, how do you miss a trash can?

TheAbstract | 15

#5993006 - Monday 30 June 2014 9:30

Can't you read? Hulk miss.

By feelingold | 18

#5992558 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:23

someone forgot to take their Ritalin this morning.

ukeandfoodislife | 19

#5992631 - Monday 30 June 2014 2:02

When I don't take my ADHD medication, I too turn into the Hulk.

By SemiAuto | 21

#5992559 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:24

Probably wasn't the best idea.

Steve95401 | 49

#5992858 - Monday 30 June 2014 6:15

Yeah? No shit!

By DaMann360 | 19

#5992560 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:24

I did that once... Not really. I like to do things in the most laziest way possible

By Sandsh8rk | 36

#5992562 - Monday 30 June 2014 1:24

Hulk FAIL.