By Anonymous - United States - Winter Park Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML I agree, your life sucks 37961 You deserved it 3391 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkword - United States - Mckeesport Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML I agree, your life sucks 44909 You deserved it 3860 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Journo - United States Nice try Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML I agree, your life sucks 55006 You deserved it 4995 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sally - United States - Augusta Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 56586 You deserved it 9421 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML I agree, your life sucks 54257 You deserved it 12298 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jason Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 5114 You deserved it 620 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gross - Canada Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML I agree, your life sucks 47198 You deserved it 5007 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noantiquesforme - United States - Santa Clara Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML I agree, your life sucks 30649 You deserved it 2709 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Brittney Anderson" Today found out I need to have emergency surgery which is extremely convenient considering I'm literally supposed to be moving out of state in 2 days and my whole house is completely packed. FML I agree, your life sucks 2056 You deserved it 120 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Pennsville Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML I agree, your life sucks 33350 You deserved it 2562 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what the fuck, mate - Australia Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML I agree, your life sucks 21357 You deserved it 2547 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands - Reusel Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML I agree, your life sucks 21731 You deserved it 1741 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Santa Clarita Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 38360 You deserved it 3338 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML I agree, your life sucks 39339 You deserved it 2980 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 27183 You deserved it 3113 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Spain - Zaragoza Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML I agree, your life sucks 36681 You deserved it 4822 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML I agree, your life sucks 22697 You deserved it 4544 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drycleanplz - Reserved Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML I agree, your life sucks 29529 You deserved it 12801 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whale14 Today, I was in the newspaper for my soccer accomplishments. It was supposed to be my day in the spotlight. I went home to find out that my little sister had sprained her ankle in P.E. Not only did nobody in my family read the article in the paper, I'm now doing all of my sister's chores. FML I agree, your life sucks 1801 You deserved it 207 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GreenShelves - United States - Lynchburg Today, after staying up late all week to get work done, I arrived at my job having accomplished all my goals. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I completely forgot to bring the briefcase that had all of the evidence of that hard work. FML I agree, your life sucks 20343 You deserved it 2648 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bready - United States Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML I agree, your life sucks 10835 You deserved it 71919 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizzie1833 - United States Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML I agree, your life sucks 32723 You deserved it 5504 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By escortedout - United States Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 6111 You deserved it 47113 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tyguy3000 - United States Today, I asked a woman to take a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing on the beach. When I looked up, the woman and my phone were gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 2083 You deserved it 2913 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML I agree, your life sucks 1871 You deserved it 138 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weeping_angel_ - United States - Cortland Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML I agree, your life sucks 64871 You deserved it 13874 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kamburgler - United States Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML I agree, your life sucks 36312 You deserved it 5682 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nice - Canada - Hamilton Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML I agree, your life sucks 25947 You deserved it 5007 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ipodless - United States Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML I agree, your life sucks 32203 You deserved it 4309 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FalkensLabyrinth - 3/2/2021 19:57 - United States - Gardner Tact Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML I agree, your life sucks 672 You deserved it 168 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heartbroken - Canada - Brantford Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML I agree, your life sucks 30529 You deserved it 2811 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I wasn't being clingy geez - United States - Anchorage Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "too clingy". I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks and texted her first once. Guess that's still too much for her. FML I agree, your life sucks 11177 You deserved it 821 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By holliefall - United States Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 51404 You deserved it 22697 350 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KarlwithaK - United States Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML I agree, your life sucks 79852 You deserved it 4155 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xXxJoe16xXx - United States Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 50825 You deserved it 8377 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FreeOfCharge - Canada Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML I agree, your life sucks 12037 You deserved it 110446 375 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angelofkarma - United Kingdom Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 314048 You deserved it 172985 803 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lawoman27 - United States Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML I agree, your life sucks 65825 You deserved it 2746 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Canastota Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 58012 You deserved it 7571 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Valley Stream Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 18444 You deserved it 1355 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Pleasant Grove Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML I agree, your life sucks 68425 You deserved it 14950 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fallencastiel | 22 #6085064 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:31 At least you aren't a teacher getting mistaken for a freshman. Send a private message 377 5 Reply
By AnOriginalName | 19 #6085067 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:32 With some creativity, you can use that to your advantage. Like using the staff break room, for starters. Send a private message 222 1 Reply
By fallencastiel | 22 #6085064 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:31 At least you aren't a teacher getting mistaken for a freshman. Send a private message 377 5 Reply
Reply EmpireCityRay | 13 #6085092 - Thursday 9 October 2014 12:04 That happens to me :( lol Send a private message 22 16 Reply
Reply UntoldLife | 18 #6085101 - Thursday 9 October 2014 12:21 Really looks like it #16 Send a private message 69 2 Reply
Reply MelTheGreat | 23 #6085341 - Thursday 9 October 2014 17:49 That happens to me, too. Plus, I'm only 5' tall. Send a private message 10 2 Reply
By purpleturtle16 | 20 #6085066 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:32 Make new friends! Talk to people! Soon everyone will know that you're a student. Good luck OP Send a private message 79 4 Reply
Reply orbit | 22 #6085168 - Thursday 9 October 2014 15:04 Or use the situation to your advantage Send a private message 22 2 Reply
Reply supernerd95 | 17 #6085329 - Thursday 9 October 2014 17:42 i would really exploit such a situation... a lot.. hahaha Send a private message 12 2 Reply
Reply ThongWarrior | 17 #6085335 - Thursday 9 October 2014 17:45 Oh my! I would have never thought of such intelligent out-of-this world solution... Oh my god Send a private message 2 13 Reply
By AnOriginalName | 19 #6085067 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:32 With some creativity, you can use that to your advantage. Like using the staff break room, for starters. Send a private message 222 1 Reply
Reply purpleturtle16 | 20 #6085069 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:33 I like how your mind works! Send a private message 25 4 Reply
Reply supernerd95 | 17 #6085333 - Thursday 9 October 2014 17:43 me too! Send a private message 4 5 Reply
Reply AnOriginalName | 19 #6085445 - Thursday 9 October 2014 19:58 Me three! Send a private message 6 5 Reply
Reply rosstheboss2000 | 5 #6085539 - Thursday 9 October 2014 22:55 Me four? Send a private message 2 9 Reply
Reply Brandi_Faith | 33 #6085790 - Friday 10 October 2014 6:56 Pull a "Catch me if you can" and start teaching class convincing the teacher that they've been replaced lol. Send a private message 15 1 Reply
By abattior | 18 #6085068 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:32 I'd troll some people for fun! Send a private message 81 2 Reply
By Smiley_70 | 22 #6085070 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:35 Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment Good luck at your new school. See what the other students are wearing and copy their style Send a private message 5 73 Reply
Reply Enslaved | 36 #6085139 - Thursday 9 October 2014 13:52 For some reason, I'm picturing the OP carrying a briefcase instead of a book bag. That'll throw a few off. Send a private message 33 1 Reply
By MrDonSalvetti | 27 #6085072 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:36 Your name isn't Benjamin Button, is it? Send a private message 45 8 Reply
By sydneysays | 15 #6085078 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:44 Take advantage of this Send a private message 20 4 Reply
By Headcrab | 29 #6085079 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:44 This could be super useful. Send a private message 12 4 Reply
Reply Crossbowe | 13 #6085474 - Thursday 9 October 2014 20:49 Half life FTW Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By thefmlman2011 | 35 #6085080 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:46 Congratulations on starting a bew school! You'll fit in in no time. Send a private message 4 18 Reply
Reply thefmlman2011 | 35 #6085161 - Thursday 9 October 2014 14:33 I meant new school, not bew. stupid fingers Send a private message 4 12 Reply
By Black0111 | 6 #6085083 - Thursday 9 October 2014 11:52 That's a good thing lol. Good luck. Send a private message 1 7 Reply
Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked... I agree, your life sucks 71 You deserved it 13 2 Comments
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 165 You deserved it 14 3 Comments