By demonporn - 4/12/2020 11:01

Snitch

  Today, I was riding home from church with my parents when my mom turned around and told me that this morning there was a demon in our living room, and the reason that demon was allowed inside of our house was because I've been watching porn. I'm grounded for 3 weeks because of an informative demon. FML
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By  JasonThorn  |  18

1. Were you watching porn, or were they just making stuff up?

2. As another poster said, check for tracking apps. Also, check for hidden cameras. Funny they mentioned the living room, did anything happen there?

3. Little bit of trivia: programs used to carry info were called "daemons."

COMMENTS
By  raven_of_azarath  |  33

The one and only time I experienced sleep paralysis, I told my mom, and she told people at my church. They prayed and were told I had a demon attached to me, so one of the pastors came over that night to perform an exorcism. Ends up, I had supposedly been cursed.

By  Charlie Given  |  23

sounds like your parents are using an app to track what you're doing online and when you're old enough run run far away crazy religious zealots like that only get worse with age

By  JasonThorn  |  18

1. Were you watching porn, or were they just making stuff up?

2. As another poster said, check for tracking apps. Also, check for hidden cameras. Funny they mentioned the living room, did anything happen there?

3. Little bit of trivia: programs used to carry info were called "daemons."

By  mskeptik  |  10

That's a super easy way to summon. No black candles, no pentagram, no reading Bible backwards... Seems like a good script for a new Brazzers movie.

By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, unless mom is prone to making oddball statements and accusations like this with no proof, she knew about your porn habit and probably where you watched it and jerked off. That means either there is a tracking app on the computer or there are surveillance cameras. Now that you know this, instead of making a big deal or argument about it act accordingly. Once you know how and when and where you are under surveillance you can use that to your advantage.

By the way if you are a minor living in your parents home; I am no expert, but I think they have the legal right to monitor any computer they bought or own and the common areas of the house like the living room, but probably not your bedroom or the bathroom.

By  coius  |  23

Time to mess with your family and tell them you’ve joined the satanic temple and the demon was because you farted while performing a dyslexic attempt to summon santa for Christmas.