The Top

The date lasted 4 hours and he took me home with the intention of going home. Not fat, not ugly...His friend ended up inviting him out. I approached him at the club to say hi and kept it moving because I was with friends. I danced with a few other people, including him. He called the next day. I actually made a joke about how funny it would be if I saw him to a friend before we went out. Wasn't down about it, just thought the irony was FML-worthy --- Some of yall are cruel! lol

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 33 497

By Tara - 01/05/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 5 658

Checking in

By Anonymous - 08/02/2014 00:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 170

You deserved it 4 243

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 23:32 - United States

Today, I checked over my notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study for the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted, I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 159

You deserved it 8 110

By alekoi - 14/05/2015 03:15 - United States - Shelton

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 639

You deserved it 3 065

alekoi tells us more.

alekoi 19

Thursday 14 May 2015 23:36

Op here, and you guys are hilarious! I diddnt think this would get published! Thought I'd do I follow up. My room isn't actually attached to the house and because my parents think its too hilarious they wont let me come in to the main house, and they won't help me fix it. Lol but I did try to cover it with a blanket, and of course it rained. So now I'm soaked because my bed is directly underneath but hey no more wildlife! I did try to refrain from singing, and kept away from apples so I think I'm safe! But seriously you guys are all hilarious, totally made my day!

By georgiamarshall_ - 09/01/2013 10:42 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 403

You deserved it 34 163

georgiamarshall_ tells us more.

georgiamarshall_ 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 3:11

Hi all! Original poster here. I understand most of you don't think it's possible to accidentally stick your finger up instead of crossing them, but it's kind of an in group joke with all of my work friends that we flip the bird to each other. I guess habit took over! I am so ashamed, but at least she didn't realise what it meant and her mother wasn't around!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 19:45 - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 447

You deserved it 5 396