Animals: Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box.... - FML

By brentkd - 20/07/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 4 737

Walk the line

Best teeth in the game

Seize the means

By paging dr. kevorkian - 16/05/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 708

You deserved it 5 896

Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 139

You deserved it 11 562

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 176

By Dude - 21/01/2010 11:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 497

You deserved it 2 925

By voicelesspeasant - 03/11/2016 20:41

Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 728

You deserved it 817

By spooked - 05/11/2014 20:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 2 744

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 679

You deserved it 3 410

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 542

You deserved it 2 972

By anonymoose - 30/05/2013 00:39 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 200

You deserved it 3 355

By wow - 11/07/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 970

You deserved it 5 142

By fukingtigans - 29/07/2015 15:30 - Croatia - Rupalj

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 592

You deserved it 2 478

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 3 441

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 054

You deserved it 2 812

By atleasthelocalsarenice - 04/03/2017 12:00

Today, while camping alone in an isolated area, I was woken up at 3 a.m. by a fellow camper, who then offered me a crayfish and a romantic beach walk as a way of flirtation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 341

You deserved it 577

Reverse Uno card

By really_now - 26/04/2013 00:56 - United States - Reno

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 34 321

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 21:40 - United States - De Forest

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 3 738

By wickedbeauty333 - 26/09/2012 22:54 - United States - Katy

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 457

You deserved it 4 176

By jts - 20/02/2016 09:55 - United States - Asheville

Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 356

You deserved it 2 375

Monday blues

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 11:02

Today, I asked my boss if I could take a vacation day for my birthday on Monday. She called to tell me yes, and then told me I'm getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 66

By cAPITOLpORN - 23/06/2015 15:57 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 197

You deserved it 2 198

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 671

You deserved it 2 003

By anonymous - 15/02/2015 22:39 - United States - Valdosta

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 879

You deserved it 2 893

By nocostumeforme - 29/10/2011 16:01 - Canada

Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 6 956

By davidthegreat - 05/07/2011 08:27 - Japan

Spicy

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 5 884

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 263

You deserved it 9 631

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 5 424

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 281

By K - 16/02/2011 02:40 - United States

Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 470

You deserved it 2 807

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 19:59

Today, having split up with my husband, I tried to plan visitation so he could visit my sons, his stepkids, only to be told he has no intention of visiting kids that aren’t actually his, and that now we’re divorced they're entirely my problem and good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 987

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 017

You deserved it 83 245

By Thai rice mistake - 12/02/2013 08:04 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 738

You deserved it 18 944

By bitch i'm a gerontophile - 29/11/2012 18:08 - Taiwan

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 1 850

Bugging out

By Jordan - 02/04/2015 19:58 - Jordan - Amman

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 8 431

By anonymous - 01/10/2013 05:36 - United States - Huntington

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 840

You deserved it 7 030

By DeathPopStar666 - 19/08/2019 14:00

Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 02:00

Today, my mother told me she's planning on taking the next two weeks "off". She is unemployed and on disability, and spends her days on the couch watching Netflix. Off from what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 140

By OfficeFatty - 30/10/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 672

You deserved it 4 965

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 04:16 - United States - El Cajon

Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 837

You deserved it 2 608

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 60 992

By mrb72 - 03/02/2009 10:48 - United States

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 482

You deserved it 19 131

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Top comments

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:05

That's shitty. Hey, at least Apple makes some solid headphones!

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:08

"hey, i can hear the ocean in my earbuds! no. wait. that's just my cat's digestive system."

Comments

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:05

That's shitty. Hey, at least Apple makes some solid headphones!

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:09

skullcandys are so much better. I haven't even taken the earbuds out of my iPhone 4 box.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:12

Skullcandies aren't bad, but I'd take Sony earphones of iPhone earbuds everyday. this is kinda entertaining... Do they still work or are you too much of a pussy to try them?

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:16

skullcandy is unreal. the FMJ's have such good bass and sound.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:16

no freaking way, the cat would be walking around the house with the cord hanging out it's ass, plus it would have to chew it pretty good just to try to swallow it

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:18

couldn't the headphones just fell in the litter box... it happen to me before

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:40

Haha #10 you're punny xD. OP, either use them, or dish out $45 dollars for new ones xD.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:44

7-skullcandy's r terrible headphones. audiotechnica's n sennheiser's r much much better

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:59

Bose make the best headphone EVAR!!! 

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:09

F your cats life.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:22

there's an app for that?

Trupe 3

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:43

Skullcandy > all competition

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:45

what?! just jailbreak your iphone, get a wodget to make the volume 200% and there you go u wont need headphones

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:47

widget*

RachelTheLoser 0

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:52

do the headphones still work?

msyelowbubblegum 0

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 3:07

what you doing lookin thru ur cats shit????

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 4:01

52 - How else are you supposed to clean a litterbox?

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 4:04

that the they...you need better grammar. and skullcandies are better than apple or sony. but the gummy headphones top em all :D

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 4:58

JUST GET 10 $5 PAIRS

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 5:01

I thought that the stories all get edited before being posted... 'The they...' makes no sense.

StopB1tchingYDI 0

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 5:45

apples headphones are great exept the bendy part that wraps around the outlet thingy always rips

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 6:03

YOU ALL FAIL!! dollar store headphones are the best!!

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:02

28 is correct. However, they are not the best when someone leaves the door to your room open and your incredibly springy dog jumps on your bed and chews them up.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:04

64 - I know a kid who steals earbuds from the dollar store. He's in safe school now.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:34

ydi for having a cat kick that useless shit get a dog

Zurk 0

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 8:22

agreed.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 12:55

That "Brown Sound" shore do git a 'round.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 18:43

skullcandies feel like ear dildoes.

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 23:44

I prefer Icemataudios myself. Amazing sound quality.

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Thursday 22 July 2010 20:42

skullcandys are good quality, until they blow out. i got the skullcandy skullcrushers, and within the first 2 weeks the left speaker ha blown out. i now use the beats by dr dre, THOSE beat all competition.

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Friday 23 July 2010 5:39

umm... no. a cat wouldn't eat them. anyone with a cat knows that string like objects are viewed as toys, and will be dragged round the house.

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Saturday 10 September 2011 1:25

28 - agreed with 26. All bose does is say they have the best headphones. Take a look at sennheiser, AKG, audio-technica, bowers & wilkins, westone... The list goes on. You'll be surprised.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:06

Eew, what the hell? How can you be so sure?

thesunsetglow_fml 8

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:08

maybe they were wrapped in a turd :)

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Sunday 11 September 2011 5:02

Hmm... maybe because cats go poo in the litter box... -2

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:08

"hey, i can hear the ocean in my earbuds! no. wait. that's just my cat's digestive system."

crashlovekayla 0

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:18

haha I see what you did there ^^

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:08

F your cat's life: that had to hurt coming out. :(

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:08

lol

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:34

hahahahahaha. nice.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:08

eww what else is in your cat?

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:10

Do they still work? :D

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:14

o_O Just don't check if they still work, mmkay?

exiie 0

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:17

Yummm!!

Ace_of_Diamonds 0

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:19

y my comment not there

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 23:29

a pussy ate ur earbuds?

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Wednesday 21 July 2010 4:59

lol xD

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 56

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 212