Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 907

You deserved it 4 898

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 666

You deserved it 13 005

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 8 705

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 560

You deserved it 82 926

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 4 856

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 212

You deserved it 19 461

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 773

You deserved it 9 264

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 660

You deserved it 20 289

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 714

You deserved it 2 156

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 864

You deserved it 27 738

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 44 532

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

Bobby64 29

Monday 14 February 2011 22:57

I guess getting candy on Valentine's Day isn't always a good thing. :/

Bobby64 29

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

Crap, I didn't read the FML carefully enough. >_> Sorry about that. Oh well, that's nasty no matter what day it occurred on.

xBangOut 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:55

Well I guess your sister is very fine with sharing :) 3sum anyone?

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

gabrielleangeliq 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:07

This.

meowmeowwkitty 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:22

Salty?

deafeningsilence 8

Monday 14 February 2011 22:59

.....what the..

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

shayshaw 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:50

*strechy

mitchem 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:39

*stretchy

mitchem 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:42

*stretchy

folfg7 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:50

Kids under 14 have small enough arms. and have had sex Ed. put it together people... child molestation black mail for the ******* ^win.

Privations_fml 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:05

No, used it on a horse

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:38

63 - It was used on me. :D

lolitaababy 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 11:22

ahahahahahahahahahaha!!

DahkLohd 4

Monday 14 February 2011 23:02

You like the taste of ****? What's your number?

Mama_Umbridge 8

Tuesday 15 February 2011 0:57

A DUR DUR DUR DUR

wolfshadow 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 3:05

(you)-are-rapermort(.com)

LexxyLiime 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:01

quite_bored 9

Monday 14 February 2011 23:03

...And it fit...?

WiseGuy79 14

Monday 14 February 2011 23:09

Moral of the story kids: Don't accept slimy candy bracelets/**** rings from your sister haha

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 14 February 2011 23:10

Her not liking the taste is what got you in this situation... twice!

ak7477 9

Monday 14 February 2011 23:14

well quite a happy VD for you...

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 276

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 165

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 6 122

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 168

You deserved it 545

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 8 701

Today, I'm stuck between my absolute resolve to never have children, due to how abhorrent I find the idea of having to raise them to adulthood, and my fear that if I don’t have any, I’ll end up old and alone, probably die alone, and the body won’t be discovered until a neighbour notices the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 546

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 3 117

Same thing different taste

Toys R Us

Missing

Donut eat this

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