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As some of you failed to notice (thanks to those that defended me) I did not meet him on Tinder. I met him in the real world like a normal person. My friend showed me his profile on Tinder and how do I know its him? One of the pictures he used was one I took of him. So am I meant to Psycho stalk every guy I like in the future in case he is a lier? I am still thinking about my next move.

By roachblend - 12/09/2010 08:00 - Taiwan

Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML

agreeclassic 31 695

vote type 1 4 149

By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

agreeclassic 22 523

vote type 1 4 768

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

agreeclassic 44 924

vote type 1 4 395

You're so cool

By TacoFail - 02/01/2010 04:46 - United States

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled, "WOOHOO!" I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

agreeclassic 6 003

vote type 1 60 752

Roasted

By wordmalfunction - 25/05/2009 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

agreeclassic 23 134

vote type 1 44 826

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

agreeclassic 16 003

vote type 1 44 228

By PapaW - 01/11/2013 07:01 - United States - Lehi

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

agreeclassic 97 566

vote type 1 7 122

By deviable - 09/11/2011 17:32 - Canada

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

agreeclassic 36 344

vote type 1 2 891

deviable app_comment_confession_title

deviable 9

Wednesday 9 November 2011 23:59

My dad is very sensitive about his cooking. If I'd refused he would have made my life harder for the next few days. I said I liked someone's steak a little better than his, and it was a year before he cooked another steak. We generally try not to hurt his feelings.

By Imretarded - 24/05/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

agreeclassic 69 016

vote type 1 13 599