By DesperateToBeDad - 31/12/2015 11:57 - United Kingdom - Gravenhurst
DesperateToBeDad tells us more.
OP here. Wow, wasn't expecting so many comments! I feel I should probably clarify a few things here: First of all, I have a very vivid imagination and tend to have involuntary daydreams where various scenarios to a situation play out. This was one such case, and doesn't mean I'm violent or am actually contemplating shooting people or anything like that, my mind just rollercoasters through various things happening and I'm just sort of along for the ride. I found this one amusing enough to post on FML. My wife and I are currently looking into fertility tests to find out exactly what the problem is, and will of course consider adoption/fostering if it turns out that natural conception isn't on the cards. Don't worry, I'm not going to abduct anyone's kids or go on a murder spree. :P
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Maybe see a therapist op? Also, there's fertility clinics and treatments you can get to enhance your chances of having a kid. Best of luck!
Not only that, their emotions can affect fertility as well.
Lol therapists helping people is like a 1/100
Maybe think about trying adoption if at all possible. I wish you the best of luck OP with whatever you choose to do.
OP clearly doesn't have a problem with it being someone else's kid after all
Unless he chooses to kill people and steal their children.
As a future adoptive parent, I take issue with the phrase "someone else's child." Regardless of whose biology they share, a person is the child of the parent who raises them. Regardless of whose womb they come out of, my future children will be MINE.
#100, it was just a joke. Don't take it so personally.
@109 "blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" close...but you were slightly off.
100- While I don't have a problem with 25's joke, I agree with your general opinion. I have a 5 year old daughter. We have the same sperm donor (abusive asshole doesn't deserve the title of dad), so biologically we're half-sisters. I filed for custody after her mom died in a car accident when she was about 1 year old and have been raising her for a little over 4 years. She is just as much my child as one that I'm the biological mother of would be. I pisses me off when people tell me she's not really my daughter if she's technically my sister.
You just wished him luck with murder
You should look into adoption man, there's a lot of kids that really could use a loving family!
Much better idea then OP's. I feel like taking that route would have lead to an awkward situation when the girl got older.
As technically viable an option as that is, many fathers-to-be simply prefer the baby to be biologically related.
The issue (if there is one) might be with the wife making a sperm donor pointless.
#30 OP was talking about taking a random couple's child, I don't think he cares if the child is biologically his.
47 - op said it was a random daydream. NOT something he was actually planning or capable of doing. Thinking about doing something doesn't mean you would ever go through with it.
Get checked out by your doctor to make sure you're fertile enough for regular conception. You could have low sperm count or something or maybe perhaps your wife has some sort of issue. If that's the case you might want to consider in vitro fertilization.
I'm gonna put my neck out there and say that after 3 years, I would think the OP would have done all that. As for IVF it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and most people can't afford it. This is sad and OP definitely needs help!
Op is from the uk where it is a lot cheaper to get ivf and in some places the government (by way of the nhs) will pay for a couple of rounds. It's still not cheap but certainly affordable for most people (unless op and wife need to go through multiple rounds instead of 1 or 2)
You should talk to someone. Geez dude.
That's what we're here for. Good, OP, let the hate flow through you.
29- the Dark Side is strong with this one, yerrs....
Try looking into a fertility specialist, especially since it's been three years. You guys may need further help. Your special moment will come, OP. Good luck!
Guys, I feel like if they've been trying to have a baby for 3 years, they've looked into every conceivable option. Maybe they really haven't thought of certain ways, but chances are they have, and having it suggested to them like its a perfect and obvious solution will probably make them feel worse.
It's not a perfect and obvious solution, but good lord, the guy is daydreaming about committing murder to solve the predicament. Maybe he should reconsider whether the imperfect solution is acceptable.
Did... did you make a pun?
Oh my god they did make a pun.
stop trying. it'll happen eventually. good luck, op.
What 10 means is, keep 'trying' but don't put so much emphasis on the baby bit. Keep doing it, but stop 'trying to make a baby' and just enjoy it. Otherwise you stress yourself out too much and it won't happen.
This is the literal worst thing to say to someone who has been trying for so long. Please keep your ignorance to yourself.
Not sure why everyone is downvoting you. This advice is given to many couples trying to conceive because the female body will often fight off insemenation under mental duress. One of the women who I work with tried for years to get pregnant. Her husband went and talked to their doctor solo and the doctor told him that he should ask her to stop trying and that maybe they weren't ready yet blah blah blah. Basically convince her that he didn't want a kid right now. She got so relaxed and de-stressed because there was no mental pressure to just get pregnant that she conceived within the month. Maybe don't spread YOUR ignorance before knowing how the human body works...
112- I can't speak for anyone else, but I disagree with saying it'll happen eventually. While taking away the stress and pressure can absolutely help some couples, that's not always the case. Sometimes couples just can't get pregnant naturally due to fertility problems that are out of their control, stress or no stress
#128 I agree with you. #112 - sadly not everybody is fertile and capable of conceiving. As #128 said there are people who just can't get pregnant so to say that people trying for a baby are doing something wrong and just need to relax more and they'll definitely conceive is a bit misguided. :-/
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Maybe see a therapist op? Also, there's fertility clinics and treatments you can get to enhance your chances of having a kid. Best of luck!
Maybe think about trying adoption if at all possible. I wish you the best of luck OP with whatever you choose to do.