The Top

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Issues

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 04:18 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me I’m clearly turning into my mother. I turned round to have a go at him when I stopped, thought about it, and realised he’s completely right. I’m just like her. Now I’m so depressed, I don’t know if I want booze, a relaxing bath, or a really long, ugly crying session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 460

Wow, thanks, I'm cured!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 20:01

Today, I got the best advice for my depression and anxiety from my parents and relatives: "Get it out of your head, there's no such thing. And get married!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 156

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 763

Globehead

By yikes - 07/03/2023 10:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 140

Was it me?

By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 2 386

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 133

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 238

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 02:00

Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 249

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 416

Don't have fun without me

By torri - 09/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 1 282

Digger blues

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 06:00

Today, thanks to my husband's obsession with needing a massive garage built instead of a bog standard garden shed, we dug up some Roman building last week, and our garden is now swarming with archaeologists banging on about history and ruining my weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 1 182

What a waster

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother lost his flat and is sleeping on our sofa. He’s also unemployed so my husband is getting increasingly angry at him freeloading. To make it up to him, I made his favourite pudding, Angel Delight. He just walked in and caught my brother eating it right out of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 505

School's out for summer, thank God!

By reluctant teacher - 15/06/2019 19:41 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I had 15 teenagers literally laugh in my face when I asked them to be quiet. I'm a student teaching in a high school, which is the culmination of 2 years of my life and $20,000, and I might in fact actually hate doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 314

Bewitched

By Frozen Delight - 24/02/2019 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 443

Delusional

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 11:02

Today, my sister made serious plans to move to another country to be closer to the married man she's having an affair with. She thinks this will force him to leave his family. I know who will have to listen to her whining when she is sitting all alone in a different country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 136

The Watchers

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 15:00

Today, my in-laws just bought the house opposite. They were bad enough 50 miles away but now they’re here all the time. We’ve had to start locking doors and diving to the floor every time we hear our front gate open. Even then they try to open the door and stand in the garden for up to 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 133

By brokenatthebar - 24/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Carleton

Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 786

You deserved it 325

Chair club

By Eleanor - 06/05/2019 08:00 - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 155

Slip of the tongue

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 682

Pissed

By mommy2004 - 18/07/2023 03:00

Today, my nineteen year-old boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his place where I was staying. All because my two year-old peed on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 956

Alexa, play "Burning down the house" by Talking Heads

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 02:59 - United States - West Yellowstone

Today, a house I'm working in burned down overnight. My entire cordless tool line up and everything else needed to remodel a 3-story home is gone. Almost $14000. The only way I will be somewhat, maybe, possibly, reimbursed is if I stay on to rebuild the home. I don't have anything left to even start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 111

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 15:01

Today, I've been home from prison for over a week, I still don't have a job or a vehicle, and my mom keeps checking my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 640

Nolongeracriminal tells us more.

Nolongeracriminal 16

Monday 11 September 2023 14:55

OP here. I have since received an offer, took it, then had multiple offers at other places. Things are working out on this end. Been working all my hours plus some and got a truck. Making a come up after spending 7 years in the clink. Thanks for all the support guys/gals!!! 🙏

Pulling the God card

By Smdh - 06/05/2022 16:00

Today, my sister announced her engagement to my ex-boyfriend, who she’d stolen from me. She got upset that I told her I’m not attending her wedding, nor congratulating her. Since she’s “Christian” her logic is “What God joined together, let no man separate.” Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 143

Be the hero

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 14:01

Today, I learned I will hand my daughter off to a complete stranger in order to provide help during an emergency situation. I don't know whether I feel proud to be someone who steps up in the moment, or mortified and ashamed that I gave my kid to a bystander so easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 301

By SwoopingEagle - 09/06/2017 20:00

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 1 323

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 104

Pride

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 04:00

Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 642

By rissalynn - 15/07/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me lazy. Her days consist of sitting on her couch watching Fox News. I'm a college athlete who also has a part-time job, yet I'm the lazy one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 176

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 14:00 - Australia - Epping

Today, I went to see a certified trauma specialist for my PTSD. I saw her for 35 minutes of my hour-long session because she ran late with the patient before me, and then kicked me out early. Her expert treatment plan? "Just don't think about it." I paid $260 for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 123

Well hello sinners…

By Yesenia - 02/09/2023 14:00

Today, I learned that ever since I got a tattoo, my mother had edited her will, said I was no longer her daughter, and took me out of it. While my sister got a payout, I basically missed out all because of a small tattoo of a flower on my ankle. I’m a single struggling starving mom. She knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 505

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 851

You deserved it 2 009

Today, I’m 16 years-old, father to a 4 month-old baby, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 681

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 119

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 715

You deserved it 117 342

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 7 254

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with once before my current boyfriend. The guy told me he has chlamydia, and I should probably get tested. I had to call my boyfriend to explain what happened and tell him to get tested. I'm meeting his family this weekend at his sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 641