By FML Videos - 25/9/2018 18:30

Shark Feeding Fail

Feeding sharks is dangerous - you might lose something important!

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Messed up

Instadrama

Social distancing gone wrong

By so bored -__- - 25/2/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18529

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31077

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By Whatswrongwithme? - 3/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55647

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5687

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By "burnuptowndow" - 30/9/2017 01:30

Today, we got a new boss. This would have been great if he knew how to do his job. I've spent the last week training a guy who hits on co-workers and gets paid twice as much as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3581

You deserved it

210

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45284

You deserved it

4213

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:03 - Germany - Mannheim

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27171

You deserved it

8129

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By ifeelfat - 17/6/2014 20:44 - United States

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53033

You deserved it

8070

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By Ned - 29/8/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48343

You deserved it

3852

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By spoton - 26/1/2017 16:00

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5697

You deserved it

825

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By Moe - 25/9/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30036

You deserved it

7611

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By anonymous - 15/2/2015 22:39 - United States - Valdosta

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

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40829

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2885

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By sexual parrot - 21/4/2014 18:42

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

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57464

You deserved it

16016

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By why ma? - 25/3/2020 08:02

May to December

Today, I invited my elderly mother to come stay with my husband and I during this outbreak, just until everything calms down. She declined because we said she couldn’t bring her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a 34 year-old leech who's been living off her for over a year. She refuses to change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1520

You deserved it

186

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By sleepy - 3/12/2016 09:54 - United States - Grand Forks

Today, I was the DJ for a company party that was supposed to end at 11 p.m. The company ended up wanting music late and my boss made me stay there until they got tired, which ended up being 3 a.m. I start work at my other job at 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10471

You deserved it

981

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By Canali18 - 17/9/2016 14:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML

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12263

You deserved it

1096

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By owned - 24/1/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

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36335

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4405

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

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1519

You deserved it

3351

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By Anonymous - 8/5/2014 03:57 - United States - State College

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

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41950

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By karengoeswest - 16/8/2018 15:00

Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4841

You deserved it

253

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By PeePee - 3/7/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35790

You deserved it

13278

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2013 17:31 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30833

You deserved it

2497

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By BigToe - 26/4/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33422

You deserved it

4058

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By Gracie - 24/5/2019 12:02

Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML

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1789

You deserved it

263

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2015 09:52 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29944

You deserved it

2878

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By JillianJuneBug - 4/2/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8209

You deserved it

1406

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By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/1/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

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31012

You deserved it

8317

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By feminismlol - 6/4/2012 04:45 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

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12801

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By Anonymous - 6/2/2017 21:00 - Canada - Jansen

Today, I was talking to a girl online and she stopped talking to me abruptly after seeing my picture. FML

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7187

You deserved it

756

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9435

You deserved it

34460

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By CrystalsDontWork - 18/9/2013 06:34 - United States - El Paso

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36516

You deserved it

2752

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45614

You deserved it

5213

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By DarkSerebii - 5/6/2014 15:16 - United States

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45724

You deserved it

3606

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By Elizabeth Ann - 10/5/2019 23:00

Today, at work, I fainted and hit my head. When I told my boyfriend, he said, “Why does it matter?” FML

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1759

You deserved it

207

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By UnwantedDisappointment - 18/1/2019 00:00

Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2744

You deserved it

234

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

411395

You deserved it

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By ohgod... - 2/4/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43975

You deserved it

3398

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By Noname - 26/10/2008 21:20 - United States

Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34084

You deserved it

4434

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By alison - 4/7/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33716

You deserved it

4888

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By kirstyrd - 12/8/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28905

You deserved it

35966

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2020 02:01

Today, on "Dr. Phil"…

Today, my dad got upset when one of his employees showed a romantic interest in my mom. Both parents were totally fine, though, with that same employee announcing his engagement to my 15-year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1537

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By uglynerd - 26/5/2013 00:45 - United States - Streamwood

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

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52674

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Top comments

By Davros | 12

#7699083 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 21:47

Gooood puppy, niiiice puppy, ok fetch.......please.

By real life problems | 26

#7699202 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:48

I was hoping to see her lose part of her arm

COMMENTS

By Davros | 12

#7699083 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 21:47

Gooood puppy, niiiice puppy, ok fetch.......please.

By mike3775 | 32

#7699108 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 22:26

Stupid is as stupid does

By lkb307 | 21

#7699195 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:22

HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!

By real life problems | 26

#7699202 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:48

I was hoping to see her lose part of her arm

By DraganTine | 3

#7699220 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 2:42

nope not a shark.... its a tarpon

By Devnath Rai | 3

#7699253 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 6:25

to fix r

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7699258 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 6:47

At least she wasn’t that dumb and tried swimming with the ‘lovely pets’ to recoup her phone