By FML Videos

Shark Feeding Fail

Feeding sharks is dangerous - you might lose something important!

Favorite

Poisoned chalice

Give me my drugs!

Creepy idea, dude

By Anonymous - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48434

You deserved it

5035

Favorite

By neoteck - France

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26015

You deserved it

2537

Favorite

By BDSM4Jesus - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34988

You deserved it

4516

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By Anonymous - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40584

You deserved it

7364

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By bumblebee - United Kingdom

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54927

You deserved it

3696

Favorite

By ananomus - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35050

You deserved it

5851

Favorite

By caesarinozeppeli

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3994

You deserved it

376

Favorite

By Samantha - United States

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38185

You deserved it

12538

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29421

You deserved it

13826

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By Anonymous - United States - Mission

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12454

You deserved it

22391

Favorite

By Noname - Canada

Today, I was going to confess to my best friend that I am madly in love with her. I called her up only to find her crying. She was upset that she might be pregnant with some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38899

You deserved it

2873

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29051

You deserved it

2592

Favorite

By TwiceDaily,Kids - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27820

You deserved it

5094

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By lessinterestingthanadog - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30202

You deserved it

3778

Favorite

By Penkkis - Finland

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27506

You deserved it

9035

Favorite

By Sophies - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40572

You deserved it

3121

Favorite

By Anya - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "that's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8591

You deserved it

1768

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22231

You deserved it

1666

Favorite

By stay in there - 17/4/2020 23:00

Dumbasses

Today, I got a call from the local police station. Apparently, my idiot son and his equally dumb girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have sex in the car at a park in broad daylight. They assumed no one would be there due to the quarantine. They were wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2068

You deserved it

263

Favorite

By mama bear

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1365

You deserved it

295

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29410

You deserved it

2581

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31318

You deserved it

4305

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By catfish - United States

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25242

You deserved it

51835

Favorite

By jibjab - Canada

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18998

You deserved it

9053

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34629

You deserved it

5890

Favorite

By soaked - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37307

You deserved it

9011

Favorite

By tstaeger - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12393

You deserved it

37718

Favorite

By cjbutterfly96 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23355

You deserved it

2252

Favorite

By pissed - United States

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48023

You deserved it

6983

Favorite

By NotInTheRightPlace - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40987

You deserved it

6514

Favorite

By StuckInCollegeLimbo - United States - Riverside

Today, after going through months of registration and orientation to transfer to a university, I was told that my application was denied because I didn't meet the minimum credit requirement. You couldn't tell me this before? FML

I agree, your life sucks

3524

You deserved it

320

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32433

You deserved it

2571

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By MoxyR12 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48555

You deserved it

5661

Favorite

By ohhhemmgee - United States - Reno

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8741

You deserved it

29307

Favorite

By Jonoq - Canada

Stress factor 11

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1377

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By xacked - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12391

You deserved it

61518

Favorite

By Kev - Canada

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40130

You deserved it

5171

Favorite

By ugh thanks - United States - Dayton

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46406

You deserved it

6710

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31467

You deserved it

2932

Favorite

By Nick Nameous - United States

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24155

You deserved it

5261

Favorite

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Top comments

By Davros | 12

#7699083 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 21:47

Gooood puppy, niiiice puppy, ok fetch.......please.

By real life problems | 26

#7699202 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:48

I was hoping to see her lose part of her arm

COMMENTS

By Davros | 12

#7699083 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 21:47

Gooood puppy, niiiice puppy, ok fetch.......please.

By mike3775 | 32

#7699108 - Tuesday 25 September 2018 22:26

Stupid is as stupid does

By lkb307 | 21

#7699195 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:22

HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!

By real life problems | 26

#7699202 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 0:48

I was hoping to see her lose part of her arm

By DraganTine | 3

#7699220 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 2:42

nope not a shark.... its a tarpon

By Devnath Rai | 3

#7699253 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 6:25

to fix r

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7699258 - Wednesday 26 September 2018 6:47

At least she wasn’t that dumb and tried swimming with the ‘lovely pets’ to recoup her phone