Obey! - FML

Obey!

By twinkygaymer - 27/06/2020 02:02

Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 195

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Insanity

By Leroy - 05/10/2019 02:01 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 133

By ThirdWheelHell - 30/06/2016 06:07 - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 3 537

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 061

You deserved it 37 249

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By DisneyGal - 22/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 368

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 4 571

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 630

You deserved it 3 904

By Too manly - 20/03/2013 04:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 547

You deserved it 4 543

Tsk Tsk

By whatiswrongwiththeworld - 14/07/2017 13:01

Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 920

You deserved it 290

Holy stereotypes, mom!

By BtoTheRtoTheTTK - 19/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Winter Haven

Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 219

You deserved it 518

By imafunguy - 05/10/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 3 090

Next

Top comments

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 27 June 2020 14:24

Well it’s pretty rude of you not to change your sexual orientation for her. (Jk she’s an idiot)

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:17

Really, she should pay. My custom is whoever does the inviting should be prepared to pay for the whole thing.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 2:43

Why can't you just go out with her and not have sex? You didn't need to humiliate her by rejecting her!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:04

Eat out, but not eat out.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:07

Exactly! I've heard there are still some people who don't have sex on the first date (weirdos). Pretend to be one of those!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:14

And make her pay her share. Gender equality and whatnot.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:17

Really, she should pay. My custom is whoever does the inviting should be prepared to pay for the whole thing.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:49

That’s what she said.

Nailah Butler 4

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:02

Because being gay is not just about sex. If she is asking for a date she is romantically interested and he is not. Even as a straight person no one has an obligation to go out just to make the other person feel good. It leads them on and waste time.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 28 June 2020 1:34

Why can't you be more like Drax, Nailah? Stop letting things go over your head. If you're not a fan of the MCU, try this one: r/woosh.

alex_jaguara 32

Saturday 27 June 2020 7:23

Wa she yelling "Please don't gay"?

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 27 June 2020 14:24

Well it’s pretty rude of you not to change your sexual orientation for her. (Jk she’s an idiot)

TorreyTurner 3

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:02

I wish I had your problems

Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:15

these ******* people. there actually are men out there who would be happy to have her, yet she's throwing herself at someone who is unavailable.

Win 9

Sunday 28 June 2020 20:36

Here’s the thing. Even if you weren’t gay, you don’t need to say “yes”. No means no.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

The Top

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 390

You deserved it 3 305

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 2 589

Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 153

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 198

You deserved it 3 289

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 840

You deserved it 5 964

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468