Love, Sex, Marriage, Weird and Awkward: Sharing is caring - FML

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my husband waited until our honeymoon to reveal his scat fetish, because he didn’t want me to think he was too weird to marry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 126

Love Sex Marriage Weird Awkward

Our house, in the middle of our street

Late term

Mama's boy

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 13:58

Today, my best friend's parents posted her wedding date on Facebook. My best friend got engaged a few months after I did. The only wedding plan I have come up with so far is a Fall 2022 wedding. My best friend is also planning a Fall 2022 wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 686

All that for nothing

By Depressed - 14/07/2020 20:01

Today, due to some highly corrupted data that I had nothing to do with and no control over, around 5 years of pixel art I'd made, and spent most of my free time working on, has been permanently deleted, and there is no way to recover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 321

By John - 30/06/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 3 591

Poor old Truffles

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom grabbed my iPhone and threw it from the balcony, because I didn’t cry on the fifth anniversary of our family dog’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 82

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 293

The main characters

By sarsuela - 08/07/2021 04:01

Today, we gave my in-laws-to-be our wedding invitations. Their first reaction was to assume we needed money and told us they couldn't help pay for the wedding. Their second move was to book hair and make-up for themselves. Congratulations? FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 86

By twohoursclosertodeath - 26/01/2013 22:57 - United States - Austin

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 248

You deserved it 7 148

By Sarah Ellsberry - 13/09/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 043

You deserved it 264

Great job

By onlyme - 23/05/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 139

You deserved it 64 887

By NotANaturist - 01/01/2010 14:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 41 835

By Anonymous - 27/06/2012 20:02 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 811

You deserved it 5 325

By Anonymous - 15/05/2019 03:10

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 489

You deserved it 46 607

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 914

You deserved it 7 080

Pinky

By grandlisleguy - 03/02/2020 21:00 - United States - Colchester

Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 367

By dont_shit_where_i_eat - 29/08/2017 23:15

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 684

You deserved it 257

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 898

You deserved it 4 775

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 22:59 - Australia

Today, after growing up in abusive homes most of my life until last year, I'm finally the happiest I could be and I'm getting all the help I need and achieving my dreams. I feel genuinely happy, yet I still want to end it. I've asked doctors for meds but they want me to see a psychiatrist first. The waiting list is more than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 80

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 297

You deserved it 2 524

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 06:49 - United States

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 814

You deserved it 1 809

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 03:29 - United States

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 293

You deserved it 2 631

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 052

You deserved it 608

By Guy - 17/10/2015 18:23 - United States - O Fallon

Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 1 693

By Lucy - 06/03/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 923

You deserved it 2 581

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 2 801

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 712

You deserved it 4 325

By Anonymous - 08/11/2012 05:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 711

You deserved it 4 548

By oopsydaisy - 01/10/2014 02:20 - United States

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 554

You deserved it 11 962

Poor good boy

By they don’t die they multiply - 16/11/2021 08:02

Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 138

Failing upwards

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I got my acceptance letter from Harvard University. Yay! Unfortunately, I sent it as a joke, never thinking I'd get accepted and I have absolutely no way to get there, or the money to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 478

By over prtective father - 24/06/2014 04:35 - United States - Washington

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 566

You deserved it 5 532

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 566

You deserved it 9 503

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 14:08

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 141

Subjective

By whyyyyy - 17/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 935

You deserved it 297

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 121

You deserved it 2 866

NSFW FML

By Fireguy92 - 01/02/2013 04:39 - United States - Dewitt

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 411

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 21:56 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 181

You deserved it 39 596

By Anonymous - 27/04/2016 10:39 - United States - Lemon Grove

Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 399

You deserved it 7 446

By Ugh-Lee - 30/09/2010 15:07 - United States

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 498

You deserved it 3 933

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 796

You deserved it 4 288

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 5:31

Who gives a shit? :D Does he shit in his hand in the shower and throw it in the toilet? There's a girl that does that. Trade places with her!

1known 29

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 6:23

If you are into that too (though I doubt it), great for you! But being married to him doesn’t mean he got to do his fetish with you or anyone else, or that you have to try. He’s an adult and therefore can control himself.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 5:31

Who gives a shit? :D Does he shit in his hand in the shower and throw it in the toilet? There's a girl that does that. Trade places with her!

1known 29

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 6:23

If you are into that too (though I doubt it), great for you! But being married to him doesn’t mean he got to do his fetish with you or anyone else, or that you have to try. He’s an adult and therefore can control himself.

Marcella1016 31

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 7:26

Jesus Christ this whole time I was like how in the hell do you have a cat fetish? So you like...masturbate to pictures of cats? How do you involve a partner? Is it some kind of Furry thing? Went back and read “scat”....God, that is so much worse. Hope you love him, OP!

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 13:15

Me thinks this isn't his one and only deception.

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 15:28

He isn't too weird to divorce, is he?

Send a private message

Tuesday 16 November 2021 22:44

oof that's a tough one. hopefully it's not a deal breaker that he's into it if you're not

dasin 17

Send a private message

Saturday 20 November 2021 16:42

well dont kiss him after eating shot and good luck on not getting pink eye

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 8

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 98

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 83