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By KelseNM - 14/08/2018 14:30

Today, I've been diagnosed with an incurable condition in both eyes that is making me go blind. I lost my job and had to drop out of my final year in college because of this. Then my ex found out and stole my car since I "won't need it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 379

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I finally got home after not seeing my husband for a few months because of work. He grew an enormous ginger moustache like Yosemite Sam. After months apart, we are now arguing because he refuses to shave and I refuse to kiss him until he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 533

You deserved it 1 519

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 455

You deserved it 316

By watchyoself - 28/12/2016 21:45 - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend had the very expensive watch he got me for Xmas resized. I dropped it trying to put it on and shattered the glass. The warranty won't cover it because of the adjustments made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 886

You deserved it 1 451

By Nola - 27/04/2017 12:00

Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 296

You deserved it 347

By Z - 06/11/2016 23:33 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 758

You deserved it 817

Extreme Couponing

By DezyCoCo - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Penfield

Today, I spent two hours organizing all of my coupons, just to leave out my room for ten seconds to come back to my two-year-old crumbling them up and ripping them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 656

You deserved it 2 914

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 352

You deserved it 4 977

By Eheath12Jheath14 - 12/07/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 507

By cperagui - 19/07/2018 19:00

Today, we did icebreakers at a summer program. I'm really awkward but I got paired with a really nice guy. I noticed his right hand was very soft, so I joked, "Do you only moisturize one hand?" Then I understood. Then he understood that I understood. We're partners all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 523

You deserved it 885

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 1 197

My bad

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a toddler's ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 267

You deserved it 4 057

By WorkWeirdo - 30/03/2016 20:26 - Peru - Lima

Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 642

You deserved it 1 559

By ren - 13/01/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 444

You deserved it 1 970

By Fuckkkk - 20/10/2018 14:00 - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 479

By anonYmous - 26/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 059

You deserved it 778

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 079

You deserved it 1 759

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 377

By outofluckatcollege - 27/08/2016 07:33 - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 918

You deserved it 1 470

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 098

You deserved it 308

Alexa, play "Let Down" by Radiohead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Central Islip

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 798

You deserved it 1 402

Sounds illegal

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 131

By ouchy - 29/11/2017 19:30 - Australia

Today, at work, a mosquito landed on my brand new tattoo. Without thinking, I slapped it. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 1 489

Creepy

By Justinthebox - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 589

You deserved it 430

Weren't there two girls?

By Megan - 19/03/2018 01:30

Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 373

You deserved it 4 625

By Bummed - 12/06/2016 19:44

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 992

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 06:39

Today, it has been eight years since I politely declined a date with a "nice guy." How have I kept track of it this long? He has been stalking and harassing me since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 252

You deserved it 359

ourlastnightlife tells us more.

ourlastnightlife 6

Sunday 22 July 2018 21:35

Hi, OP here! this is my submission lol... I've made police reports but you know how well that goes lmao. He messages me every few months w new profiles. I've moved cities 4 times, changed my number 3 times, changed my name(hi I'm a trans man), changed my email, everything. At the time he first asked me out when I was 15, I was happily in a long term relationship. At the time he threatened to kill my boyfriend and rape me. At one point we were best friends. And I tried to stay his friend after he asked me out. I told him from the very beginning that I was taken. He even had his mum calling me a **** and a ***** and threatening me. And to all y'all saying I should have given him a chance, y'all are on crack lol. He is persistent but his last few messages have been him just harassing me for being trans lol. And no I didn't come out as transgender to get him to back off, I came out as transgender because I am transgender. I'm 23 now and have sworn off relationships for good. This is all hilarious to me now, it's been a while since he actually tried to come at me physically, at this point he is just words on a screen. but I thought this would make a good fml story. And yes I did have to make a new profile to comment. Have a nice day y'all :3

By oh, feck off - 27/04/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I missed an interview to work in a school as a teacher's assistant because the email inviting me to attend got buried among the spam emails. Oh well, back to my usual job as an assistant janitor. Yes, that's right, assistant janitor. It's the same job as a real janitor, but for less pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 123

You deserved it 1 520

Great parenting

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 15:30

Today, our 6-month-old is finally sleeping through the night. We thought we'd finally get a good night sleep ourselves, until my dumb husband fell asleep with the TV on and our 5-year-old ended up watching Saw 3 by herself. Now the 5-year-old wakes up with nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 242

You deserved it 618

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 22:00

Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 816

You deserved it 781

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The Top

The Top

Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 731

You deserved it 419

Today, I had an endoscopy and nothing wrong was found. So why have I been vomiting up everything, including water, for the past 10 days? FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 82

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 323

You deserved it 5 470

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 443

You deserved it 2 705

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 155

Today, after months of saying I wanted to kill myself, someone finally reported me. I can't go back to school until I see a therapist who has to approve my going back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 795