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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

#21002524
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49629) - you deserved it (6017)

On 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by JoshuasGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44584) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (3117)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (6105)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54461) - you deserved it (15717)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (6793) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49206) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47501) - you deserved it (5420)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51979) - you deserved it (7174)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43371) - you deserved it (5598)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML

#21007096
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (4260)

On 12/27/2013 at 9:01am - work - by Hungry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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