That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 753
You deserved it 797

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exileonmainst 16

All things considered, not that bad. Imagine if you had found him with your dildo. Which, I think, is by far the strangest verse in John Lennon’s Imagine.

If only there were a popular descriptor for this kind of situation. Perhaps one that both describes the literal nature of the situation and the feelings it evokes in a single adjective. Maybe even one that was once popular on this very site, yet fell from grace due to overuse. Man, such a thing would make for a perfect commentary on this situation.

Comments

gobiteme2 34

A Pasco in the making

exileonmainst 16

All things considered, not that bad. Imagine if you had found him with your dildo. Which, I think, is by far the strangest verse in John Lennon’s Imagine.

Lobby_Bee 17

I can see the host for Dirty Jobs in your child's future.

If only there were a popular descriptor for this kind of situation. Perhaps one that both describes the literal nature of the situation and the feelings it evokes in a single adjective. Maybe even one that was once popular on this very site, yet fell from grace due to overuse. Man, such a thing would make for a perfect commentary on this situation.

exileonmainst 16

Ahem.. What a shitty situation!

RIP, exileonmainst, it’s been nice knowing you!

exileonmainst 16

I thought we were going to have a whole ”I’m Spartacus!” thing, where everyone would stand up for eachother..

I’m sorry, but it’s more of a “1984” moment. Big Brother took me to Room 101 over the “shitty situation” meme.

exileonmainst 16

Ah, shall we have some victory gin then?

30 minutes? Takes me 10-15 to shower and dress. Ydi for taking so long.

Believe it or not, some people actually like to scrub their bodies in the shower. What might take you 30 minutes might take another person 15, so you deserve it for being too slow.

When you found him, how was he positioned. I’m betting the fecal position?

pacman490 21

My brother did that once. It was really late so we thought about leaving the crap everywhere and cleaning it up in the morning.

30 minutes? YDI for taking so long. gotta get on the camp shower with a little one in the house.

Lmao @ all the commenters saying YDI for committing the heinous crime of taking a 30min shower. Apparently, OP is not allowed to have an extra 15 minutes all to themself in the constant, around-the-clock care they have to provide for their kid, while said kid was SLEEPING. I’m not even a parent and I say ya’ll need to chill.

Oh shit! Should I go?