By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 768
You deserved it 15 613

Same thing different taste

Top comments

challan 19

Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.


Yeah don't exaggerate! Be proud of your size!

Don't exaggerate but maybe that is OP's size. Better to have the right size condoms than to squeeze your dick off with too tight ones.

Just buy like fifteen boxes so he will be like, "Are these for the next few months?!", then, be all sly and say, "Nope, they're all for tonight". Then kick his ass and rob him blind. What a dick.

#38 - "What a dick"...i hope that's what OP's girlfriend will be saying later ;-)

Yeah too small condoms make having sex with them on horrible and not fun it actually was so small that my dick went numb until I got a bigger size

tjv3 10

You should have whipped it out and been like I'm hung like a horse. Lol

And then get arrested and charged as a sex offender for whipping it out in a public store that has a high risk of children around.

132, your comment made me think of Horrible Bosses, when the guy is a sex offender for peeing in a playground, in the middle of the night, next to the bar. I'll never get sick of that movie!

McNikk 15

Op was clearly butt naked when he bought the condoms. Duh.

OP was probably white and the cashier was used to only darker skinned males buying that size.

oj101 33

Maybe OP has been sleeping around town quite a bit.

therealafroninga 10

You must not have your penis license. See, when you go to buy condoms, you need your penis license, much like, if you were to drive, you would need a drivers license. Now, where your age would be on a normal drivers license, a actual photo of your penis, along with it's length, diameter, and TMI (lenght x girth/width) are shown. It's really common knowledge.

Ah, the old penis license. I used mine one too many times and now I am restricted on how much time I am allowed in the shower.

#2 good call, sounds like the cashier is a real dick

66- OP could be the village bike....

DKjazz 20

138- Yeah, the kind without a seat.

The cashier knows because a regular condom fits over an arm - just fill one with water and watch how big it becomes! Also condom companies are on the record of selling the exact same size as normal packaged into XL. It's for guys with self esteem issues. No dick in history has been too big for a regular sized condom, not even a **** star's.

His hands and feet are tiny. That's how...

Actually 151, "regular" condoms are what I used for years, until I tried and XL. Now I no longer want to ever go back to regular again. It made a world of difference for me.

Regular condoms ARE too small for some guys. Just because they fit over your arm does not mean they fit _comfortably_ over your arm (or a large penis). Same principle as a somewhat heavy-set person wearing stretchy clothes three sizes too small. Sure, they can get them on but in no way does that mean they 'fit', or are comfortable for the wearer.

therealafroninga 10

165- so it's a big difference?

151, you have no idea what you're talking about. As others have pointed out, just because a condom can stretch does not make it comfortable. Also, the ring of latex at the base is MUCH less elastic than the rest; I once went home blue-balled because the girl I was with only had regular size condoms, and we physically could not force it on.

23lf 16

Isn't it length square time girth divided by width?

This cashier must be your stalker who spy's on you when you're not looking.

Hey, if its a girl cashier maybe its not a bad thing if she's stalking you. Oh, and I would be a disgraceful Grammer Nazi if I didn't do this-- Spys*

I have investigated this claim quite deeply and it seems you are quite right. I apologise for any inconvenience caused.

Llamacod 11

No, Ollie is correct in his spelling of apologize. He is from the UK, they do not spell the same as we Americans do. (ie color, colour)

If he whipped out his genitals in Walmart, he would be having legal troubles, not just a problem with a cashier.

And not only could he get arrested, but unless he's got an erection, it won't prove much. The size of a limp penis doesn't always have a direct correlation to erect size. There are a lot of factors, e.g. "shrinkage!"

Unzip and drop em! Stranger things have occurred under walmarts roof..

He could just end up on love those people lol

I've seen idiots streak through wal mart. I highly doubt OP would have been in legal trouble for proving the cashier wrong.

challan 19

Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.

mimiminx 23

#7 does your mother know the size of your erect penis then?!

challan 19

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olpally 32

Lol wow. Great thread. Cashier was being a smart ass IMO.

That makes no sense: Mums should know what their sons' dicks look like because they changed their diapers as a baby? And that dicks are identical from father to son?

^~and, don't you know? Size never changes from baby to adult! A baby's dick is 40% of its weight at birth.~

rockbandaddict85 22

queue family guy... peter- wimpy wimpy, hefty hefty... lol

challan 19

52- I thought it was clear that I meant she had seen much of his penis throughout his life... Guess not. She'd know if he was above our below average lol

Lludes 5

My son is 11 and I haven't seen his penis since he was 5.

Well OP, it was only a Walmart cashier. They don't know the size of your manhood unless you dropped your trousers for them, so just ignore them. But FYL indeed for their comment, but if that really is your size you shouldn't let their comment get to you.

If it really is OP's size, i think the cashier should be the one writing on fml, not OP.

Just because someone doesn't know you, doesn't mean they won't be a douche.

The cashier was probably just a very jealous male .. Unless you go shopping naked, I assume he didn't have anything to base that statement upon ;)