Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
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Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
lolmigosh 15
How would the cashier know?
challan 19
Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.
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Comments (176)
awkward_gothlady 32
And why, exactly, is this the cashier's business?
perdix 29
Why did the cashier assume you were going to use the condoms on your penis? XL condoms make fine waterproof sock liners!
born_hustla 26
The cashier knows something we don't.. And not quite sure we wanna know.
Enslaved 36
OP's name is "not too small" but are you an XL? :P Besides how does the cashier know it's for your ****? You might be using it to smuggle your swallowed cocaine? And guilty, I sometimes look at guys' hands and picture them naked.
mattlw 25
mattlw 25
mattlw 25
perdix 29
You may want to wear slightly looser pants. Leave some mystery. Girls like going on a treasure hunt to find a card at the end that says, "Great things come in small packages."
TheDrifter 23
Hard to brag when the cashier can clearly see the tiny lump in your skinny jeans?
_wraith 15
You are one smug soul-eating cat, Drifter.
grrrrrrrreat 8
You should have been all like, "let's go to a hotel and find out ;)".
erichsalvesen 13
SHOW HER!!
epic13 12
You sure you weren't being a little cocky?
skyeyez9 24
You never know by one's appearance if they are hung or not. This poor guy in my 6th grade class was bullied mercilessly. He was a nerdy kid, and didn't fight back so he was an easy target for the jerks. One bully snuck up and meant to humiliate this boy by yanking his sweatpants and underwear down in the middle of cafeteria.....people gasped. Turned out this 11yr old old 5ft tall 105lb boy had an 8" dick. Nobody bullied him after that. And all these trashy girls kept trying to get with him from then on and he became pretty popular to his bullies dismay.
etishuman22 32
Good for him!!!!!! Was that you?
crammer1 6
I agree...life is like a guy's crotch, ya never know what you're gonna get. Hands and feet theory are bull!
skyeyez9 24
I was in the cafeteria waiting in the lunch line when I saw it happen. I always hated seeing him get bullied. But back then, I didn't have the guts to intervene.
Xotoolyxo 16
She's just jealous she can't have you