Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
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Top comments
lolmigosh 15
How would the cashier know?
challan 19
Was the cashier your ex or your mom? Otherwise tell her you'll be lucky if these fit, you normally wear trash bags.
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Comments (176)
ZacZ 8
Tell them using them as gloves. Thats what the XLs are for right?
jarroz 1
How did this make it past the votes? I know a lot of these fmls are fake, but they could at least be funny. YDI for not coming up with something original.
Samanthawk 8
Penis size is not always proportional to the guys body size. He could be 4ft tall and have a 10in dick because his pack size is based off of genetics. So really.... You can never tell from looking at a clothed man what he has under those pants.
Infinity1337 11
Oh so you are Asian! I get it now..
gardenwhipped3 14
XL has a 15% larger girth than regular condoms. According to one article only about 5% actually need it. So it might be more about bragging. The best response would have probably been something similar to the following: 1. My junk is none of your business, and I don't appreciate being sexually harassed. 2. You really are a stupid person for talking about something as private as this, I mean unless you just want to get fired, I will be happy to talk to your manager and see what I can arrange. 3. Your mom told me to pick up XL condoms and I didn't argue with her because this time is free.
JLJ911 8
Next time put it on the counter or go to self check
JLJ911 8
@#81 not really I've had condoms break not all the same size hence why they have sizes to start its not one fits all
HeartOfLead 24
Just let them know you're packing heat...
theater_disney 12
It might grow some more... You never know
\ 28
Shoulda shot back with "I think you'll be needing a different job."