By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks 62 540
You deserved it 10 545

Same thing different taste

Top comments

what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid

Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.


what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid

Ooh it's double posted which means everything we wrote goes into the fml void never to be seen again

Guys can be beautiful. And girls can be named Jack.

I agree that jealousy probably played a part here, you will possibly find out the last time the elderly lady got laid was when Nixon was President.

whiteboy896 9

She's old, you really think she cares about getting laid?

philbelfrage 13

58 - Old people are some of the kinkiest ***** on the planet.

I imagine ill care about getting laid until I die. Just because you're old doesn't mean the libido stops. Hope you realize that your grandparents are probably still having sex if they're living.

therealafroninga 10

72, you have out mental images in my head that may never be erased, so, as a fair trade, I want you to watch two girls, and one cup. Imagine your grandmother doing such with her bingo partner.

Well it is entirely likely she meant 'YOU can decide whether or not to have sex instead of relying on a condom to protect you' hence 'you are your own birth control'. However seeing the conclusion that everyone here is jumping too I can see why this is an FML. She could've worded that a bit better(if that's what she meant).

I have seen that video and it did not phase me at all. My grandmother has passed and was never a fan of bingo. Maybe she'd have done it with the milk man though! ;) If it makes you feel better my 74 year old grandmother just told me a year ago. "I sure hate sucking on his thing!" In regards to my grandfather.

ylsasil66 5

What a rude person! That's really unprofessional considering she was at work.

TeamKelly 10

At work or not, that's a really rude thing to say.

ylsasil66 5

It's rude in any situation but it's unprofessional because the elderly women was at work. I believe you mixed up the meaning of my comment.

I cannot believe how inappropriate and rude people have become! Why can't we follow the golden rule; if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!

I only hope OP made a complaint. it would be a shame if that went unpunished.

#78- Says the girl with a pic of her middle finger up?

Actually the golden rule is: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Old people....they never sugar coat anything at all.

\ 28

They've seen so much of life that they're in "developer mode"

twaumat 28

they think 'eh, screw it. I'm going to die soon anyways'...and BOOM

My grandmother certainly never sugarcoats anything and somehow still manages to bake great cookies.

Aspen_Grace33 27

When reading FMLs like these, I always wonder how these people can speak like this to their customers and still have a job. Ignore them, OP. Clearly this person has nothing else going for them that they have to pick on people making purchases.

I always wonder that, too. If I'd said things like that to customers when I worked retail, I'd have been fired SO FAST.

Possibly because FMLs aren't ncessarily 100% true, people have a tendency to exaggerate stories in order to maximize their suffering.

Sometimes, the customer doesn't make a complaint or the employee is let off with a warning.

I've seen much worse, surprised those people never got fired. In any case, if an old lady is saying that she's being honest and blunt, I'd take this as positive criticism. It helped me change into my dashing self that I am, maybe it can help you too op.

Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.

You're my favourite commenter and i think you are the messias of FML. Thank you for making my day Pleonasm.

The sentiment is nice, and I appreciate it, but people around here prefer not to see that, ie prefer you send it via PM. If you'd rather not get some edgy people getting all holier-than-thou on you, you should probably keep it PM! Regardless, I'm just another regular and nothing really exceptional.

That's not quite true pleo has a cool stache that sets him apart.

Wonder what she was like in high school..

BubbleGrunge 18

Rude! Ignore her OP, obviously you're getting some because you're buying condoms. Now, go put them and your good looks to use! :)

We don't actually know that... OP could just be buying them in the hopes that they'll be put to use eventually. Or for a friend. Or some other reason. Etc...

klovemachine 24

That wasn't nice, but it was very funny :-D sorry OP

k_lylepad 19

You should've been like, don't be bitter just cause you're too old to get any.