Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
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Top comments
BlackHawkSavior 28
Ask him if his parents know about them, rude prick.
Soloman212 28
I guess his parents didn't get the memo either
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Comments (115)
BlackHawkSavior 28
Ask him if his parents know about them, rude prick.
Soloman212 28
Always beating me to the punch...
BlackHawkSavior 28
Nah man I think of it like a tag team I go in first and soften em' up Then you come in and finish them off
sadistmonkey 19
Looks like the condom was rudely pricked...
Nessco 36
Should have said there's also these things called muzzles, would be perfect for him.
sweetbliss3 37
i don't know that his comment wasn't justified. was the parent trying to stop the arguing or just letting it continue on and on? I know some things can't be helped but if they're not listening to the parent, it's time to go and come back later.
leogachi 15
@74 It says they were arguing. We don't know if they were actually causing a scene or if that guy thinks kids shouldn't disagree in public. Either way, implying her children shouldn't exist just because they had an argument is shitty.
morgasshk 14
Or just tell him his mother should have swallowed. Lol
Roxas_hearts 27
That's not how reproduction works, 85
DoomedGemini 37
It was kids.. How many kids do you know that sit down and quietly discuss their problems? What do you think is more likely: the op's children were quietly arguing like adults and the man suddenly snapped at them or the kids were being loud arguing and it got on the guys last nerve. The comment is terrible, but so is having to be close to kids not being controlled by their parent. Have to agree that we need more info.
Soloman212 28
I guess his parents didn't get the memo either
jake_braves 25
You may be #2 but you're just as funny. Lol
Soloman212 28
Thanks man. :/
Lemonhead1510 17
What an asshole!
couchcat 25
It's pretty funny though
blazingshot147 19
Well thats also an alternative. ..
teemy2003 3
That's when you say "Thank God you use them. We don't like when ass holes reproduce!"
alphaomega216 2
tell him to go **** himself, either he doesn't have kids or takes no part in raising them that's how kids are, no big deal
lexred 30
Tell him that his parents should've used them.
dcam13 19
and his mouth needs some duct tape over it. we all have our problems.
Krycek_fml 19
So do his nostrils.
mezochan 29
Ask if he uses them to **** himself.
Luluthus 41
How do you **** yourself with a condom??
hasooon 24
First find a way on how to **** yourself, then you can decide on whether you want to use a condom or not.
mezochan 29
Safe sex guys, you should use a condom to **** everyone, including yourself.
aquariusangel093 5
"Yea, and your mom should have used one"
ZoroMiHawk 25
More effective if his dad used one instead though.
teentee401 36
Female condoms exist!
AninOnin 24
Sure, but are they more effective?
Tripartita 44
A huge dick like him would know /all/ about condoms.
mariri9206 32
I don't know about "huge dick" - his personality seems to have gotten a majority of it.