Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
IamHercules 24
Should or shouldn't?
PANDORUM89 21
It can be very uncomfortable and some guys don't get that. Feeling like you have to poop during sex isn't sexy and while it can lead to good feelings mostly you just feel bloated and gross. Tell him since it's the thought that counts, you thought about it and decided to buy him a video game.
muis545 21
You're one of those!
sturschaedel 27
That's how it feels the first couple of times or if you haven't done it for a while. If you start doing it more often your muscles get used to it and it starts being rather enjoyable.
PANDORUM89 21
One of those what? Girls, brunettes, horse riders, know what they want people, short people... Oh I think you meant to say I'm one of those people that enjoys having consensual mutually enjoyable sex. Where neither partner is just there to grin and bear it. How can knowing your partner is doing something they don't want to do a turn on? I prefer my partner to actually enjoy the things I do to him. It's not a "gift" to give someone a sexual act that you don't want to do. Give an extra long ******* with a special twist if that's your thing. If you like anal try it in a new position or try a new vaginal position. Either way it's only a gift if the giver is actually enjoying themselves. And if the partner actually enjoyed doing something they'd do it more than just Christmas and your bday.
PANDORUM89 21
97 - that's what I found odd. I used to enjoy it but now it makes me feel like I'm going to vomit. I get horrible flu like chills all over my body. Does that go away too?
Dicebar 10
#102: That actually sounds like hyperventilation symptoms. Those are typically fear/anxiety related. Had a bad experience? Either way, time to go exit-only, doesn't sound like you're enjoying it anymore.
Magnic 6
You know... you clean up your butt before anal. One does not simply go anal with a poo in the butt.
6pointstuntin 12
the point of a gift iz to be selfless an put your own love into watever your gift iz regardless of of how you feel about it thats like someone only asking for a gun for xmas but becuz you dont like guns you wont get it for them
core01 30
like asking to crush her foot and acting indignant when she expresses reservations about it. Many of us hate it because it hurts. And ffs, if you've never had a man twice your size rail you up the ass then don't pretend to tell me how great it feels, or how painless it is, or how it's my fault it hurts and I'm somehow inferior for denying some dude anal.
aimzskee 30
Give them an inch they take a mile.
LuckBeNimble 19
hopefully more than an inch...
Soloman212 28
Hopefully less than a mile..
allykaymorris 24
I laughed harder at that then I should've. ^^^
cmchappy 25
Hey a savings a saving
Alittleghosty 3
Haha.....loosely
pharm121 21
What is it about straight boys and wanting anal from their girlfriends. Yet when I ask boys its "too ****." Lol
jbombdighetty 11
girls don't have ballsacks
onlychildFTW 34
Anal would feel the exact same for the giver if the receiver is male or female. It wouldn't make a feeling difference. A tight ass is a tight ass. Haha.
6pointstuntin 12
fyl for bein slow #19
WhoCouldIBe 11
It's different. Don't wanna slap ballsacks together. Plus when you give anal on a girl you can still grab her **** or talk dirty
One_Way 43
Well if you want to get technical you can still talk dirty to a male. And with some men there are still **** to grab.
dustin007 15
UR man knows what he wants. Make sure to tell him to be gentle it's your first time? If it is ? Well good luck
FranckGonzalz 16
You should've been more specific then, you could afford what he's asking for
blubje 17
Good luck! Be prepared though!
Enslaved 38
Prepared with Astroglide?
cakefete2 31
Just tell him, "I'm sorry, butt I can't "afford" to let you do that to me."